Long Live Cowgirl's (NEVER FINISHING)

#32 Pour You'r Heart Out to Me Boi

"Yeah we've been through a lot together." i smiled to myself as me and Chris we walked down the fence line towards the large marvelous stables.

"History, its what you want aye." he had that little dimple in his left check and he knew how to use it. 

the sunset started to kick in and the big mahogany trees reflected the colors of our orange god, settling the cream clouds that slowly blew past. it was one of those places that you wanted to stand back, take a deep inhale, exhale, and take in. 

"true, its weird tho, so young and i'm so certain." 

he scuffed a bit before saying "you sure?" 

i paused, "yep." 

he dropped my answer quickly when we arrived at the stables, "his just in here." sliding open the heavy wooden door with little struggle,  i entered inside to see an array of interested eyes stare back at me. 

i noticed down the back where two little grey pointy ears pointed toward me. 

"Oh my god!" i shrieked, running down the hall on my tippy toes. 

i came to a stable and the little welsh pony nuzzled my hand as i patted him lovingly with the other. 

"his so much smaller than i remember him." i applauded. 

Chris caught up to us having a laugh to himself, then grabbed a carrot out from his jumpers pocket, "give him some of this." 

i took it and fed it to my old boy, who munched away calmly. 

"you know i won my first dressage on him."

"wow really."

"yeah i was eight." i smiled.

"you miss it?"

"what?" 

"you know, pony club, captain, your old life really."

i tensed up and i felt him sense it, though he still stood eager to hear.

"uh..." i tried not swallow down the lump that had suddenly built up so he wouldn't know i was uncomfortable but still he starred me down and that lump nearly exploded inside of me. so i gulped.

"of course i do." 

 "you should come live out here for a while if you miss anything."

"nah, i have my life at the station now." 

"but you could see your old friends, and ride caption or even join the new pony club." he almost pleaded to me.

i remembered my old friends and how i had dumped them all like a sworn of flies, and the guilt i felt for ignoring them. being back in the world where it was e and my father against the world.

Chris seemed to dwell on my silence like rejection, he sighed "you don't miss it do you?" 

i looked at the floor deciding if i where to lie to him or just say it, say something i hadn't told anyone? even Leo?

"i do-"

"you don't. i can tell. just what has that station have to you that your home you grew up in doesn't?" he seemed frustrated and hurt.

"it's not that its got something better than home, its the fact that it's not home."

he seem puzzled, "what? not home?"

"yes," now i was upset "the past, my dad, the club i miss it so much but its gone and it's like it haunts." i whimper. 

 Captain had gotten board and walked back to his hay so it was just me and Chris, stuck in a emotional stare.