I'm Not Everything You Wanted Me To Be (Ambrollins Fanfiction)

As my body lays before you - Part 14

It had been two hours since Dean and Roman arrived at the hospital with Seth, who was barely hanging onto life. For Dean, it felt as if he had been sat in the waiting room for days, dreading to hear any bad updates on Seth's condition.

The guilt was eating Dean alive, the longer he sat in silence waiting to know any details about Seth. There was no note to say why Seth had done it, but Dean knew for a fact that he played a big part in all of this.

He shouldn't have said no to Seth, when he told him how he felt. Dean didn't know what to do at the time. He liked Seth, but everything was happening too fast and Dean was worried about hurting Seth somehow, which is exactly what he ended up doing.

The whole situation was too overwhelming for Dean and he soon found himself crying into his hands. Roman was shocked to see Dean crying, he only cried when something really bad happened, so this was as good a time as any.

"Hey, calm down." Roman said, wrapping an arm around Dean's shoulders and attempting to sooth him. Roman was just glad that they were the only two people in the waiting room. "He's gonna be fine, there's no need to worry."

"N-no, he's not. He's n-not gonna be f-fine." Dean sobbed, his body shaking from heartbreak and anger. "It's a-all my fault."

"Don't be stupid. It's got nothing to do with you, it was Seth's decision to do this not yours." Roman said sternly, not understanding what Dean meant.

"But it i-is though. If I h-hadn't of said n-no, then this wouldn't have ha-ppened."

"What do you meant?" Roman asked, not knowing what had happened between Dean and Seth.

"He told me that he liked me, a-and I said that it was too ru-ushed." Dean burst out into more tears. The guilt was killing him.

"Look Dean, Seth might've been upset because of that, but there would have been other reasons behind it. Don't blame yourself for this." Roman sighed, feeling bad for telling Seth to let his feelings known to Dean.

"I'm scared." Dean whispered.

"Don't be." Roman replied, quietly. The tension in the room had started to calm down slightly.

"What if he doesn't m-make it?"

"He will. Stop saying things like that." Roman shouted. The tension was back.

The two men were waiting in silence for another three hours, before finally getting a visit from one of Seth's doctors.

"Hello gentlemen, my name is Doctor Marakett and I am one of the lead doctors working on Seth at the moment." Roman and Dean shook the doctor's hand and followed him into his office.

"Now, there is a lot of information I need to give you, before you visit Mr Rollins." Marakett stated.

"He's not dead?" Dean asked, shocked. He thought for sure that the doctor was taking them to his office, somewhere 'private', to tell them bad news.

"No, he's not. But there are a few complications."

"What complications?" Dean asked desperately, he needed answers.

"Well, Mr Rollins is in a very bad way right now. It took us hours to fully stabilize him and to be honest with you, he's still not being viewed as someone who will improve. He is currently in a medically induced coma and needs a ventilator to breathe. We pumped his stomach, but the damage had already been done."

"Wait, so if he's on a ventilator that means he can't breathe on his own, so if you were to unplug the machine he would be dead?" Dean started to tear up again, the thought of Seth dying made him sick to the stomach.

"He can breathe, but it's not strong enough yet." Doctor Marakett sighed. "The substance that he drank has given him internal burns in his stomach and oesophagus. The burns are curable, but we thought it would be best to keep him in a coma whilst his body heals, as it is an excruciatingly painful process."

The doctor hadn't finished talking about Seth's condition, but Dean was already struggling to take it all in.

"The painkillers have caused damage to his liver, so we will be treating that as well." Doctor Marakett stated. 

"What are the chances that he'll make it?" Dean asked, even more anxious than before.

"Honestly, the chances aren't very high. There have been patients that have come into the hospital in a condition similar to Seth's, and they have recovered and survived, but that's only a 1 in every 5 chance." Marakett sighed. 

"Okay, thank you doctor." Roman spoke up, for the first time since they had entered the office. "Can we see him now?"

"Of course, follow me."

Dean wasn't sure if he was ready to see Seth yet. For the past five hours all he wanted to do was stand next to Seth's bedside, but now after hearing everything the doctor had to say, he was scared to take a glance at Seth's almost lifeless body.

He doesn't remember walking down the many corridors of the hospital. It was all a blur of worry and guilt, but he was now outside the door of his best friends hospital room.

Dean took a deep breath before opening the door slightly and taking a peek inside. He instantly shut the door, when he saw Seth. He couldn't bare to see him in such a state. He couldn't enter the room.

Roman could sense the distress radiating off of Dean, and decided to open the door for himself. He had to see what had made Dean react the way he did.

Roman realized why Dean was so horrified by the sight of his best friend, as soon as he walked into the room.

Seth was lying flat on a bed, his chest gently rising and falling to the rhythm of the ventilator. He had large tubes down his throat, which were taped into place around his face with medical tape. 

There were needles stuck all over his body and his head was taped onto the side of the bed to keep it in place, during his time in the coma. He also had a neck brace on, as his limp body was unable to support the neck and spinal cord by itself.

It was a sickening sight to see, one that both Roman and Dean wished they had never seen in the first place. But they needed to be there for Seth and they were going to do all it took to make sure he stayed alive.