I felt his eyes on me, but still refused to look at him. My arms remained crossed, my short legs swinging above the floor.
"You look like a child, Malinda. Look at me," He scolds, grabbing my face gently. I reluctantly look up at him, tears threatening to fall again.
"I love you too ma," he smiles softly, a stark contrast from his gangsta demeanor.
"Don't fucking play with me Shonari," I say sharply, moving my face from his hands. I stand up, my hands make their way to my hips and I start to pace.
"You think I'm playing? You really think that low of yourself?" His confused tone slows my pace slightly.
"Look at you, Nari. Look at me. One of these things is not like the other," I glare at him, my arms wrapping around my waist instinctively, protectively.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Linda, you fucking beautiful, b. Who hurt you? Who made you believe you were anything less?" He moves in front of me, stopping my pacing. His large hands grasping my waist, his fingers pressing into my skin.
"You did! You made me feel this way!" I moved my body from his quickly, throwing whatever I could get my hands on at him. Pillows, a stapler, anything. He dodges them with ease, but at this point, I don't care.
"I just wanted to be good enough for you. But no, those skinny gringas got your attention! And Little Linda faded into the background, yet a-fucking-gain!" I scream in his face, mad at him for making me feel this way for all these years, mad at myself for letting him.
"God, I tried so hard to let it go, I did. But I couldn't. I love you so damn much. But you didn't feel the same way. Why should I expect you to now?" My voice cracked, and all the fight in me was gone.
"You can't stay here. I'm sorry, but you've gotta go," I pick up the things I threw, pushing past him every so often.
"Linda," he calls to me, but I ignore him.
"Malinda, I'm talking to you," he sighs.
"Jesus Christ, Malinda! I fucking love you, I loved you! I just didn't know how to deal with it, how to express it," he yells, catching my attention. His face red, tears brimming his eyes, but all I could think about was his previous confession.
"You were my best friend's little sister, Linda. I didn't know how he'd take it. I was scared," are you fucking kidding me?
"Are you serious Shonari? That's the excuse you give me? You were scared of my brother? Nah b. That's bull,"
"You were too good for me, ma. Still are. I was scared of Kaz, but I was more scared that I'd ruin you." He kneels in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing my pudgy stomach.
"I was in these streets, and you were finishing school. I was pushing dope, and you were pulling A's. We didn't match babygirl." The tears in his eyes finally fall, wetting my shirt.
"I didn't care about that Shonari. You know that, hell, everybody knows that. I just wanted you, it was always you," I hold his scruffy jaw in my hands, simply admiring the man in front of me. The boy I once knew, was gone. Before me was a man. A man who just poured his heart out to me.
I lower myself to my knees, and place a soft kiss on his forehead. Then kiss down the bridge of his nose, which cause his eyes to slowly close. I continue a trail along him jaw, taking in his scent. Finally, I place a chaste kiss on his lips.
"I love you, Shonari Michael Freeman," I whisper in his ear, hugging him tightly.
"I love you more, Malinda Cheyanne Morales," he hugs my waist tightly. He pulls away after a minute or so, looking at me with his glassy brown eyes.
"I never, ever wanna hear you say no shit about yourself like that again, ya heard?" His voice quiet, but his tone firm and demanding. I find myself looking away from him, unable to make such a promise.
"Malinda, I'm serious. You're beautiful. Not just inside, but outside as well. Matter a fact, get up," he helps me up, for the second time today, and leads me to the mirror in my bathroom.
"You better not do no corny shit, bruh,"
"Oh, I will. Don't worry," he smiles against my neck, his teeth lightly pinching the skin there. He stands behind me, his hands resting on my hips.
"Look at you," he whispers in my ear, pointing at our reflection. I look up and my lips tug in a lopsided grin.
"We look good together," I comment.
"No, girl, look at you. Look at that beautiful face, with those high cheekbones, and luscious lips," he caresses my cheek with his thumb.
"Look at this soft skin, your cute lil tummy," he rubs my tummy, while kissing my shoulder.
"And God Almightly, these hips," he says loudly, making me laugh. He bites his fist, twirling me around.
"God sure took his time on that ass, cause damn ma," he chuckles lightly, holding me close to him.
"I love you Malinda, and I think you the most beautiful girl in the world," His New York accent thick, and his voice makes my knees weak.
"I'm a tell you everyday if I have to."
~~~
Shonari's POV
"Linda, can you call Kaz and tell him I'm ready?" I call from the bathroom. After our lil confessions this morning, I got ready to go out with Kaz. He told me last night that me getting locked fucked with Linda, but I didn't know it was like that. I loved that girl with all my heart, but I didn't know how to treat her. She won't one of these average hoes. Linda is a woman, a good one at that. I was just a dope boy. I couldn't provide for her, or even love her the way I should.
"Yeah, where you guys going?" She said, her voice soft, as if she didn't wanna ask.
"To get me a phone, pick up some job applications and shit. Nothing big."
"Okay. I'll miss you," she says cutely, pecking my lips.
"I'll miss you more, babygirl," I kiss her on her lips hard. Her face turns red, and her hands make their way to my shoulders, her favorite part of my body, so far, 😜
"We still got some talking to do," I warn her playfully, my hands resting on her hips, my favorite part of her body.
"I know," she pouts, her lips frowning up.
"Pretty girls don't pout, mama," I laugh at her expression, pulling away as I hear Kaz open the door.
"Linda," he calls in a Spanish accent.
"En la cocina, hermano," she replies, her New York accented Spanish makes my breath hitch.
And in that moment, I knew I had to make things right with her.
