I woke up to Shonari's snores in my ear. Even in his sleep, his fingers lightly trace invisible patterns into my skin. I turn toward him to admire his features. The soft curve of his eyebrows, the ink that decorated his smooth skin, his high cheek bones, and his scruffy beard that he complains about because it has yet to connect with his sideburns. A small laugh escapes me and his eyes open slowly.
"How long you been up?" His deep voice groggy with sleep, but a smile comes across his face as he kisses my forehead.
"Only a few minutes," I kiss his lips softly, and he laughs.
"Can't get enough, huh?" he teases, his fingers still lazily tracing my skin.
"Whatever, Shonari," I giggle as he tickles my torso. "Quitate," I swat his hands away from my body. "You so damn touchy, move," I whine at him pushing against his chest, but he only snuggles up closer to me, his head resting on my shoulder and his legs intertwined with mine.
"You put it on a nigga, now you don't wanna be touched. What kinda shit is that?" He laughs into my neck, still holding me tightly.
"Get off of me, estupido. I wanna talk to you," I sit up, facing him. He sense the seriousness in my voice an does the same.
"Wassup mama?" he asks, his hands grabbing mine, his eyes searching mine as to find as answer to the sudden change of mood.
"What was it like when you were away? Like, you don't have to talk about it if you don't wanna. I'm just curious." He releases a long sigh and I feel like I shouldn't have asked. "Forget it, I'm sorr-"
"Nah, it's cool Linda. We can talk about it. What you wanna know?"
"Anything you wanna tell me love," I kiss his knuckles in an attempt to soothe him, the tension I had just created was palpable.
"It was tough Linda. I struggled through it to be honest. My mama never wrote, didn't answer my calls, Brandi acted like a nigga died, Kaz said fuck me loud and clear, and then you just stopped writing me. I didn't think I was gonna make it out," His voice broke off towards the end, and my heart did too. Tears formed in my eyes and I honestly felt bad. I grab his large frame and press him close to me.
"I am so sorry Shonari. I didn't realize how it affected you. I was only thinking about myself, I just couldn't stick around when you didn't share the same feelings as me, that only fucked me up more than I already was, with you away and all,"
"Don't apologize for something you had no control over. Here I was, thinking that you didn't feel me like that. I was stupid and selfish, and I'm sorry for that Malinda, I swear I am," He hugs me tighter, kissing my hair, and rubbing my back. "I love you, girl, I always have. I was just to busy in these streets to notice that you felt the same way,"
"You didn't act like it despite the fact that you weren't sure how I felt, Nari. Had you expressed yourself, things could have been so different. Had I had any idea that you was feeling me, I would've been a hell of a lot more forward with you," I laugh softly, still crying because I'm a big ass baby. "We're both at fault for how things played out. It's not all your fault, but it's not all mine either. But we can't change that now, we can only control how we go from here,"
"I promise to always tell you how I'm feeling, even if it's not good. You deserve to know, and I'm sure you'll have no issues living up to your end," He finishes, raising an eyebrow pointedly at me.
"No," I laugh as he kisses down my neck. "N-not at all," I exhale hard as his lips continue their journey past my collar bone. "Mmm, wait, I'm hungry," I lie through my teeth, in hopes that he'll hold off. A bitch was not ready to go again.
