The One Who's Fallen

Chapter 55

(This chapter will have Lexa and Clarke being awkward nerds talking about love)

After Lexa and I kiss for a few minutes in the art district, she takes me to some of the houses/stores and introduces me to the artist. I am completely in awe the entire time, loving how art and making art has survived. Before now I wasn't sure that there were any artists down here, let alone ones that can paint or sculpt or draw for a living. It feels like we spend hours there until it gets late and Lexa gently reminds me that we should head back.

Still hand in hand, we walk back to the Heda's Tower. We go straight to Lexa's room (I can't resist saying... Nothing about us or our relationship is straight). Lexa leads me to a really comfy looking couch. I sit next to her and cuddle against her side. She begins running her fingers through my hair, making me relax further.

"The food will be here soon." Lexa murmurs, breaking the silence.

I just hum in response. We sit there for a while until there's a knock at the door. I grumble when Lexa gets up and answers the door.

"Mochof (thank you). Tell Ris that the food looks delicious." Lexa says and then closes the door. She turns back around to me, carrying a tray with two plates and two glasses on it. "Where would you like to eat?"

"Can we eat here?" I ask.

I don't really want to move from the couch unless it's to go to bed. I'm comfortable here, and my legs are tired after walking around all day.

"Sure, hodnes (love)." Lexa smiles and sits next to me again, as close as she was last time.

Dang, the love talk. We have to talk about that. Later, though. I don't want her choking on shrimp or whatever she bought. That's a lie, she's too good at everything to choke on anything. I just want to enjoy a meal before we have a talk that's either going to make our relationship stronger or... I don't even want to think about the alternative.

To my surprise, the fish and seafood is actually really good. I was expecting it to taste like slime and regret. In the glasses, there's wine but it's not strong, luckily. I would like to have this conversation tonight (mainly because I know if I don't then I'll chicken out later) and I don't want to have it when either of us are anything more than slightly buzzed. We chat about what we saw today, and I tease Lexa about her candle obsession. She blushes at that, so I assure her that I find it cute. At least she's not obsessed with collecting something creepy.

Someone from the kitchen comes up and takes our empty plates and glasses away.

"Are you ready for bed, Clarke?" Lexa asks about twenty minutes after the tray is taken away.

"Yup." I get up, groaning as I stretch.

We get dressed and I nervously play with my fingers as I return to the bedroom.

Lexa's wearing that beautiful black night gown again. She kisses my forehead when I reach her. "Come to bed, hodnes."

We get into bed together and I squirm nervously, sitting back against the headboard. Lexa notices and sits up, gently touching my arm.

"What is wrong?" She asks worriedly.

"Um. Nothing's wrong, we just should talk." I respond, trying to relax but failing miserably.

"Are you alright, Clarke?" I nod and it doesn't comfort her. I can't find the words yet. If anything, Lexa seems even more distressed. She speaks her next words quietly. "Clarke... Are we alright? Have I done something wrong?"

"No, we're okay. And you're perfect, Lexa. You haven't done anything wrong." I let out a breath. "It's just... I know what hodnes means."

Lexa freezes beside me, looking like a kid who got caught stealing cookies. "I-I apologize. Have I made you uncomfortable? Because I can stop calling you hodnes."

"No, it's fine Lexa. I don't mind. I just want to know what it means."

Lexa's brows furrow in confusion. "You said that you know-"

She trails off then and I speak. "I do, I meant I want to know what it means to you. Are you using the word love because it's a cute nickname? Or is it something else?"

There's a pause and I let Lexa gather her thoughts, though I'm worried about what she's going to say. She takes a deep breath and lets it out. "I am not sure if you are ready to hear it."

"You won't scare me away." I promise. "You don't have to say it, especially if you're not ready to."

"I am. I say hodnes because." She trails off for a moment, looking down at the furs before looking right into my eyes. "Ai hod yu in (I love you), Clarke."

My mouth drops open slightly and I look at her for a moment in awe. She loves me? That's what I had hoped, but I never dreamed that someone as incredible and beautiful as Lexa would give me the time of day, let alone love me! I don't realize how long I am staring until she shifts nervously, avoiding my eyes. I gently touch her jaw and guide her face upward until she looks into my eyes again.

"Ai hod yu in seintaim (I love you too)." I murmur.

Lexa's eyes fill with tears and she smiles. She's so beautiful in this moment that I can feel myself falling for her harder. Lexa brings me forward and kisses me deeply. We both ignore our tears (I may be crying too) in favor of savoring this now salty tasting kiss.

We lie down and trade sweet kisses, repeating our declarations over and over again both in Trigedasleng and in in English. We fall asleep in each other's arms, probably looking like hot messes (emphasis on the hot) because neither of us bothered to wipe away our tears.

That was awkward to even write! But hey, now these gay nerds have declared their love! We're getting pretty close to the hundred coming down, by the way. Next chapter might be a bunch of fluff, or maybe I'll skip to traveling. I'll figure it out eventually (in other words, while I write it). Thank you all for reading and for your incredible comments! Stay awesome!