do i post too often? i'm just excited i got reads x3
My hands were all sweaty, well, my whole body was sweating. Okay, that sounded disgusting, but hell- I was nervous. Like I wouldn't be surprised if I thew up or fainted. Kill me, please. I'd never been this nervous before. But if you knew what I was about to do you'd be nervous too, well, at least if you were in my position. At least I had my best friend, Cameron, there to support me if anything went wrong. He said he would stay no matter what. He'd asked me a couple times if I was okay with this, if this was what I wanted. And it was, but I was still nervous.
Pretending to be someone or something you're not isn't exactly fun. It's awful. Like pretending to be straight when you're not isn't fun, and that was my case. I'd pretended to be straight since I was eleven, five years. I pretended so my parents would be proud of me, so I wouldn't get bullied, so I would get accepted by society. I wasn't safe. I was scared. When I was fifteen I told Cam I was gay. I expected to be punched, slapped, screamed at, and that he would leave me. But he didn't do either of those things. He squeezed me in a hug, said he was proud and happy, said he would still be my best friend of course (he called me stupid of believing anything else), and he said he wished I hadn't kept it a secret for four years, but he understood. That's the thing. He understood. Something I was afraid my parents wouldn't.
So now we were sitting on the couch in the living room, with my parents in front of me on the other side of the coffee table. They seemed a little nervous, maybe because I had just said, "I have to tell you guys something..." Cam was beside me, sitting real close, like our thighs touching. But my parents didn't seem to mind since Cam and I had been best friends since forever. I took a deep breath, glanced at my parents, before talking. "Uhm, I don't know how to tell you this..."
Mom spoke then. "Did you get a girl pregnant, is that it?" What the fuck? "What? No, it's not that... I-Uhm..." How was I gonna do this? I didn't know if my mom was homophobic but I knew my dad was for sure.
The way he talked about this college of him, called him disgusting and said that homosexuals were what's wrong with this world. Not rapists or murderers. Homosexuals...
"I've known this since I was eleven... I wanted to tell someone but I was scared... A year ago I told Cameron, and he accepted it... But..." They looked confused. Maybe me telling them I was gay was the least thing they expected. I bet they would rather hear that I had killed someone instead. "You're scaring me, Spencer, what's wrong?" Mom asked.
I opened my mouth to say the sentence I really didn't want to say, but Dad's phone went off. "Sorry, it's importantl I'll be right back." Dad left the room quickly and closed the door. Mom turned to me, and when she spoke, there was no disgust in her voice. "Spencer? Are you gay?" I looked at her in surprise and my eyes widened.
"I'm sorry," I said, and Cameron put a hand on my thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"What are you sorry for? For being yourself? There's nothing wrong with being gay or anything that's not straight. There's nothing wrong with that. Hell, I'm bisexual, but does your dad know? Nope, never told him. Just be yourself and everything will turn out in the end."
I smiled at her words and met her eyes as I said, "Can we not tell Dad?" Mom nodded. "Of course. We're not telling him anything until you're ready." She was smiling, and she glowed the word 'caring'. I couldn't have asked for a better mom. "Why don't you two head upstairs and I'll just tell Dad some made up stuff. Is that okay?" I nodded, and Cameron stood up. I did the same and we went upstairs to my room. Cameron closed the door and went over to my bed and sat down on the edge, looking nervous. I sat down beside him, and he said, "So, that went okay?" I nodded. "Yup, better than I thought at least..."
He was fiddling with fingers. "So, uhm, I wanted to tell you something, but I'm not sure how you'll react..." I furrowed my eyebrows, sat upright, and turned the angle I was sitting in so I saw him better.
"Okay, uhm.. What is it?" I'll admit, I was not good at comforting people, okay, I was the worst. I could just sit and be quiet when someone was sobbing next to me... Yup, that was me.
Cam took a deep breath, glanced over at me for a second before back at his hands and spoke. "Uh, I've been in love with this person for six months now, and I don't know how to tell this person. And I want to tell them. But I don't know how... Do you have any ideas?" What? That was not what I expected. But he said 'person' and not 'girl' or 'her'.
"Just do what feels right I guess. What you want to do or say, just do it... Get it over with, you know..."
I didn't know what I was saying, I suck at giving advices too.
"Really?" he asked.
"Really, just do what you want to."
Suddenly hands cupped my face and lips crashed agaisnt mine. Holy apple! Everything just fitted like a puzzle piece. How he'd acted around me the last months. How he'd been a little move touchy, hugged me often. His lips wasn't moving, they were just still.
Well, was this the time where I admitted my true feelings for him, or?
I then did something that I'd wanted to do for a while; I put a hand behind his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him back. He moaned and smiled into the kiss as we began moving our lips together. At first it was a total mess and teeth clashing. But then we found a pace that worked. I pushed him back on my bed and sat down on his lap. His hands went to my waist as we continued kissing and my hands were on his shoulders.
We were so busy kissing that we didn't hear the door open.
"Oh... Heh, I was just gonna tell you that Dad went to his work and I'm gonna go out and shop. Do you need anything? Condoms? Dildos? Plugs? Cuffs-" I cut her off. "Mom! Jesus Christ! We don't need anything! Bye!" Mom giggled and I blushed.
"Not cock rings either?"
I was about to burst out yelling but she left the room and closed the door. I turned back to Cam who was smirking.
"Okay, maybe we need condoms," he said, grinning.
"Yeah, I think you're right," I said and began trailing kisses down his neck.
god, jeez, i can't write T_T
hope you liked it xP
