"Jesus, Kevin, we're gonna be late if you don't hurry the fuck up!"
"Buh thish ish delichus—," Kevin said, crumbs falling out of his mouth.
"Stop, seriously. All you do is eat, how are you this skinny, what the heck."
Kevin swallowed before shrugging. "Guess I'm just lucky. You, on the other hand, are not."
"Fuck off," I muttered and exited the room.
"Aaron, I was joking. You're not fat, you just have a lot of muscles and damn, a nice looking six pack! Jesus. Come back!"
"Nah, see you at school, potato," I said as I put on my shoes.
I heard Kevin gasp. "You did not just call me a potato."
"Hah, I just did, see ya."
"Aaron—!"
I closed the front door just as he yelled my name, and jogged down the stairs. As I walked down the street, I turned my phone on. I groaned. We were already late. Well, I couldn't go anywhere with Kevin and expect to be there on time. He was either eating, sleeping, showering or fixing his hair for the hundredth time.
I did text him before I left my house, telling him I was on my way. He was still in bed when I got there, mumbling something that sounded like, "School sucks. I'm hungry, can you give me the box of cookies?" I literally had to drag him out of the bed and shove him into the bathroom.
And fuck, Mr. Farrell was gonna kill us. Okay, he was just gonna give us detention. Eh, same thing.
"Aaron!"
Kevin's voice made me turn around. He was jogging towards me, and of course he had a bag of chips in his hand. He stopped in front of me and held a hand to his chest. "You know—," he said, breathing hard. "I don't – have asthma. But – I – can't – breathe."
"Let's go, potato."
I started walking again, ignoring Kevin's groan.
"Can't we just go back to my place and sleep?" he asked.
"Nope."
***
"Myers, Padilla, you're late," was the first thing Mr. Farrell said to us when we entered the classroom.
"Yeah, no shit," Kevin said, rolling his eyes.
Mr. Farrell took a deep breath. "Detention, two hours, both of you."
Laughter filled the room as the old man said that, and my jaw dropped.
"What! Two hours? Are you fucking—!"
"Language, Myers," Mr. Farrell said flatly. "Now, find your seats so I can continue what you two interrupted." He turned his back to us and Kevin gave him the finger.
We sat down and Mr. Farrell began talking about some dead, unimportant man that died in 1865.
"Hey! Julia," a guy whispered and poked Kevin's back with a pencil. Kevin froze and bit his lip. Fuck. "Julia! Hey, girl."
"Mr. Farrell?" I raised my hand as I spoke, hoping to get the man's attention.
"Yes, Myers?"
"My friend threw up something weird earlier, we should probably go see the nurse. Just to make sure everything's okay."
Mr. Farrell raised an eyebrow. Fuck, please just let us go. Please, please, please.
"Okay, you can go."
I stood up and threw my bag over my shoulder. I looked at Kevin who also stood up, grabbing his backpack. He hurried out of the room, keeping his head down. I slowly followed, and closed the door to the classroom. The hallway was empty as we made our way to the end of it. I had no idea where Kevin was going, he just kept walking. We walked out of the school, and over to an old bench. Kevin sat down. I hesitated, but sat down beside him.
It was quiet. Kevin was quiet. You could tell when Kevin was upset – he would avoid eye contact, and he wouldn't talk.
"Hey, you okay?" I asked.
No answer.
"Okay, that was a stupid question, you're obviously not okay."
He was still staring at his shoes.
"Kevin..."
He didn't move.
"Look, man. I can't say I know how you're feeling right now, I can't say I know how it is. Because I don't know. But I'm sorry. Okay? I am."
He didn't say anything.
"You're probably not gonna believe me when I say this, but it's gonna get better. You just gotta hold on, because everything is gonna get better. Maybe not tomorrow, or next year, but it's gonna get better, trust me."
Then Kevin's eyes met mine. "You sure about that, huh? Because you know what, it's not gonna get better. I'm sure I'll always have this girly voice, and I'll always have this woman's figure and I'll always get called Julia, and people are always gonna look at me and think; wow, that girl is just confused, damn she's so stupid, saying she's born in the wrong body, stupid, stupid girl. Stupid fucking girl."
"Fuck them, Kevin. Fuck them. Just give them the finger and walk away like the man you are. Screw them if they don't see how amazing you are. Because you are amazing. And handsome."
"Shut up, I'm ugly."
"No. You're not. I don't see a confused girl when I look at you, because you don't even look like a girl. Like I don't see this woman's figure you're talking about. You're literally a stick. And this 'girly voice'? Your voice is actually not girly, trust me, it's deep. So when someone calls you by your birth name, others are gonna give that person a weird look. Because you do look like a guy, Kevin. You're just seventeen and you pass so well."
Kevin ignored what I had just said, and continued talking like I had never said anything. "I'm ugly. And no guy is ever gonna want me. Because I don't have a dick. And isn't that what all gay cisgender guys care about, if the other guy has a dick? Yup. So I'll die alone no matter what. Like I might have friends but I'll never have a boyfriend, because I don't have a... And because I'm ugly and—."
I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his head closer to mine, crashing our lips together. This idiot. This blind idiot who never noticed how much I sacrificed for him, how much I cared. Like that one time my sister needed me because she got dumped by a guy after they'd dated for three years, and Kevin who needed cookies. Yup, I left my crying sister alone, and went to the store to buy cookies.
I pulled away from Kevin. "You're not ugly. How many times do you want me to say it?" I smiled. "You're not ugly, you're handsome. Handsome boi."
I could tell Kevin was trying hard not to smile. "Shut up."
"Handsome."
I leaned in and kissed him again, and this time he kissed back. Our lips moved in sync, and I licked his bottom lip. He pushed me back.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
What did I do.
I ruined everything.
But Kevin was smiling as he said, "Asthma."
"You don't have asthma, idiot."
I leaned in again, and he closed his eyes.
"Well, well, well, where's this nurse you were going to?"
My eyes widened as I saw Mr. Farrell standing in front of us. "Uhh, I can explain—."
"Three hours, Myers, Padilla." Then he walked away.
"Three hours detention! Jesus fuck!"
"So... Wanna go back to my place and sleep?" Kevin asked.
that was so bad i wanna cry lol
