Midnight Talks #Wattys2017

nine

"And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long."
- Sylvia Plath

| CHAPTER 9: EVELYN

AS KYLE AND I LAID BACK IN THE fort we had just constructed in a comfortable silence he turned to me, a ghastly look of concern his cerulean blue orbs, his lips pulled into a frown and his brows knitting together as if too scared to ask this question that was somehow holding him back. His pale lips parted as he ran his hands throw his dark locks, "If you don't want to answer, it's okay but why were you in the Library and for how long? Because no offence but you don't really look like a central London girl - it's not a bad thing, don't worry." He blurted down, curiosity dancing in his eyes, his body turning towards me giving me his full attention.

My eyes focused on the carpet as I weight out my options. Evelyn, don't tell him everything. My subconscious hissed into my ear, just tell him what he needs to know to get off your back. I nodded to myself, before looking back at him and sending him a weak smile." If I tell you, promise not to laugh? It's a bit of a long story..." I found my voice trailing off giving him the option to regret his words.

"I'd never laugh at you, with you probably but never intentionally anyway at you anyway and it's fine, I got all night." He smiled at me encouragingly.

Why did it feel so easy talk to him? I hadn't known him for longer than a week but yet I felt so ready to tell him every small significant detail about me?  Like this heavy force on my shoulders was weighing me down and trying to get me to set myself free from my pasts chains.

"Evelyn, you know you can talk me if you want to, right? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

My breath caught in my throat. Do I tell him? Is there any  real harm in telling him? Wouldn't it be good to not have so many things weighing on your shoulders? My subconscious' devilish whispers screamed into my ear, battling my ever thought. Parting my lips, I nodded ready to tell him. My eyes wondered up to the brunette boy only to see him lighting cheap overpowering scented candles and placing them around the perimeter of the fort. Are you stupid? What is he doing?!"Kyle!" I found myself yelling as Kyle put the last candle down on the floor next to the opening of our fort. "You can't put a candle on the floor, especially near flammable items." Sighing, I blew out the cherry and rose scented candles before placing it on the counter.

"What? I was just trying to set the mood?" He questioned ignorantly, his eyes rounding a childish glimmer in them.

"By what? Setting your apartment on fire?" I retorted, scoffing and rolling my eyes before taking a seat next to one of the islands and dragged my hands through my hair sighing, how in twenty four hours had my world changed so significantly and how in under twelve hours had I managed to let myself be convinced by a stranger to stay with him for a while? Was I really that naive to accept? Probably.

"Hey," Kyle said after a moment of silence he placed two mugs in front of us that both said 'I heart LDN' and put the kettle on. "When Slater get's really bummed out, he usually makes tea and sits down and eventually, he'll talk. He says that there's nothings that a good cup of tea can't fix, I may not know if it will make it better but Slater is rarely wrong." I smiled, at the idea and nodded as he shuffled around his cupboard waving two boxes of Twinings "He has English Breakfast or Peppermint."

I scrunched my nose up in disgust before picking up the English Breakfast, it's not that I didn't like mint, I think it has it's place...just not near me or in my tea. "You and Slater seem pretty close, he's your brother, right?" I asked clutching the empty mug in my hands.

"Yeah, sort of. Slater's not exactly my brother, but close enough to one." He said in a clipped tone, his lips pursed in concentration as he waited for the kettle to boil, his dark hair falling into his eyes slightly. "He's been me since he was sixteen and one of the closest ones to me, I can't help but always want to repay him, you know? Even if he's never wanted a thank you or anything back, he's just one of those people. Don't get me wrong though, I love the rest of the guys, Griffin however, it's questionable." He chuckled pouring the hot water into both mugs. "Evan, Matt, Griffin and I all met at the same time but that Little one, Is a story for another day."

I nodded blowing the steam from my mug and taking a quick slip from the mug in anticipation, feeling small seed-like granules in my mouth, I looked down to see the black tea floating around in the top of the mug. "I think you made it wrong..." My voice trailed off trying not to offend him, "You aren't supposed to split  the tea bag, you're supposed to put the whole thing in then milk and sugar." I smiled pushing it away from me seeing the apples of Kyle's cheeks go red.

"Okay, I admit, I've never made it before. I don't drink this stuff." He frowned, dumping both cups of powdery water down the sink.

"It's fine, thank you though," I say sincerely before pulling him back towards the fort feeling slightly better that even though the tea was abysmal, I wholeheartedly appreciated his efforts. "I think I'm finally ready to tell you."

"I hadn't been at the library more than a couple of weeks, I found it when I got off a bus and it was raining and I went inside. " I began earning a soft nod from Kyle, seemingly satisfied that I hadn't stayed there long. "I won't be here for long, I'm just trying to find my brother." I trailed off quickly tearing through my bag to find the last picture of he and I before handing it to Kyle.

His eyes darkened slightly, as if he was hiding something, "My twin and I were separated when we were fifteen, this was the last photograph we took, but Estelle said that he's in London so here I am."

Kyle handed me the photograph, "How old are you now?" He asked softly suddenly close to me.

"Twenty," I said looking down at my hands.

"Evelyn, no offence but do you know how ridiculous you sound? There's 8 million people in London alone, and you were both fifteen in this photograph, do you know how much you've changed in five years? Do you know how much a guy changes in five years?"

I don't know why his words hurt so much, but they did. I felt my heart being ripped out of me and it felt like Life was dancing on it. "I know it's a long shot, alright but do you know how it feels to have the other half of you not with you anymore? And you don't think I don't already know this? I only know where he could've been, not where he is but I need Silus, he's the only thing I got left.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Kyle turned to me, his cheeks flushed. "Where are you from, Evelyn?" He asked gnawing his lip in frustration.

"Sutton?" I quietly piped, although it sounded more like a question, "And before you say anything, it's not that far from Westminster, it's practically around the corner." I lied earning a sarcastic chuckle from Kyle.

"Around the corner is the Odeon cinema, around the corner is the local chippy and a corner shop, 'around the corner' is not where Sutton is," He stressed sitting cross legged in front of me, his eyes fixated on me, a determined glimmer in his eyes. "I won't even bother asking how you got here, but since you're looking for your brother, you're welcome to stay as long as you need...or at least until the Roxy's room is open."

I furiously shook my head, "I can't impose on you like that, I feel like I've already overstayed my welcome here as it is. In fact, I'm surprised that you even offered to let me sleep here tonight." I frowned, bringing my knees up to my chin and stared over his shoulder.  "Why is that anyway?"

His eyes darkened again for the second time this night, a rueful smile gracing his lips. "You don't kick a dog when it's down...especially when you yourself used to be that dog."

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