Midnight Talks #Wattys2017

twenty-one

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CHAPTER 21| KYLE

KISSING EVELYN WASN'T SOMETHING THAT I could easily describe, it was like taking a breath for the first time without knowing I hadn't been holding my breath for so long and I craved it. My fingers found themselves locked in her hair, my hands placed idly on her waist as I held her closer towards me. It felt as if we were confessing to each other how we felt, not necessarily about each other but about everything. About life, about our frustrations the things that got us angry and made us feel low, it was addicting to have that lack of freedom off of our shoulders. For the first time I didn't feel like Kyle Matthew Henderson, the ex boyfriend of a girl who cheated on him with his uncle, runaway 'brother' of an adopted kid who's adoptive mother had an unbearable grip on him, lead singer of an eclectic mediocre London band who was verging on 80's style Punk Rock music, a constant relapsing alcoholic, a guy who's jeans had more rips than fabric, the blue-eyed Casanova, a broken fucking mess. I was finally just me, without the shit load of labels attached to my soul, it was as if we were speaking without truthfully speaking and I don't know if she felt the same, but she was right; I can't keep doing this.

Her long lashes brushed against my cheeks as I skimmed my lips up to her temples, kissing her head and hugging her. My frame seemed to fit into mine perfectly but I had too much baggage to tie her down with, she deserves far more than me. I took a second to breathe her in, how her hair was neither curly or straight, like a mix in between. A sea of dark waves that seemed to illuminate her stone grey eyes, her small button nose and how she looked all those nights she'd be reading books in our fort thinking that I was asleep when in reality I was still trying to decode her, understand her little traits. I pulled away vowing to myself to distance myself a little, I couldn't be over protective, kiss her or lead her on. She had enough to fix, she needed me to be her glue not her hammer and I couldn't deal with myself if I was the one who made her cut herself on the glass.

"That was..." She spoke slowly, the words seemed to die instantly in her throat as she looked up into my eyes fearfully as if I was going to say that was the worst thing that I had ever done in my life.

I felt the corners of my lips twitch upwards, "Nice. It was nice." I chuckled half heartedly as we both continued to look out at the setting sun that seemed to dip behind St James's Park, the warm orange-yellow hue blending between the bright Fuchsia and blue of the day, reality slowly starting to set in.

"C'mon, let's get you home."

The ride home was filled with a comfortable silence, she had managed to fall asleep within 5 minutes curled up in the chair. Her hair wisping over her crimson cheeks, her lips slightly ajar. Sighing my hand brushed against her shoulders, lightly shaking her. "Eve, wake up," I said softly. Her brows crinkled, her eyes shutting tighter. I bit back a laugh. "I know you're not sleeping, Evelyn. Come on, get up, you can't sleep in here all night."

"Says who?" She murmured keeping her eyes closed and her jacket wrapped tightly around her small frame.

"Me, no come on." I repeated tugging at her arm but Evelyn being her stubborn self repeated. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Honestly nothing." She sighed opening the door and getting out of the car, her hands finding themselves to a necklace that was delicately strung around her neck and walked into the apartment building, her footsteps getting faster as we reached the floor where my apartment was.

"'Honestly nothing' bullshit, what's wrong?" Grabbing her hand I pulled her towards me trapping her between the door and my chest. "Evelyn?" She ducked her face down staring at our feet. I sighed unlocking the front door allowing her to walk in on her own accord and deciding not to push her. I immediately went to the bathroom almost not quite recognised the guy in the mirror. My eyes looked tired and bruised, my skin pale and fuck it, my hair was a damn mess. Shrugging off my jacket and clothes I jumped into the shower allowing the scolding water to drum against my skin.

I allowed my self to be completely submerged into the water as I thought about the last week. It's been so fucking intense and I haven't been myself. My emotions have gone out of whack and it's weird. I allowed myself to think back to Evelyn and the few moments I had with her, how when she brushed past me I got goosebumps and the feeling of her body against mine made my hair stand on end but was it lust or did I have a thing for her? Either way, I refuse to find out.

After what felt like an hour I stepped out of the bathroom feeling liberated, Evelyn had curled up inside the fort in foetal position. I layed by her waiting for sleep to take me, although lately it had barely even happened. I'd lay awake for hours on end just listening to the city. "Kyle?"

"Hmm?"

"Confession 7: I'm scared. I'm scared because I know tomorrow you and I will be a world apart. I'm scared because I think you regret it. And I'm scared I'm going to feel alone and always feel like that." She whispered. My heart panged at my words.

"I don't regret it, you won't be alone; you have me. We are friends, Evelyn. I'll be here always when you need me." I replied carefully creating emphasis on "friends".

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I mean...I'm sorry. It'll make sense why he's saying this soon dw. 😝 HOPE YOU ENJOYED.