Midnight Talks #Wattys2017

twelve

| CHAPTER 12: KYLE

SLEEP FELT LIKE I WAS CONFESSING ALL OF the days sins to my pillow, the heavy dropping of my eyes and the feeling of fatigue washed over me. The softness of the pillow pressed against my head and Evelyn's heavy breathing penetrating the silence of the apartment, her breathing getting shakier the closer she was to falling asleep. My fingers indolently following the embroidered pattern of the carpet and when she suddenly spoke, all signs of tiredness stripped away, "What did it feel like being up there tonight?" A small smile found its way onto my lips, my mind flashing back to the nights rush. It felt greater than any high that I had been on, it was like going on the tallest rollercoaster at Thorpe Park, the feeling of nervousness and anxiety ripping at your intestines until you suddenly feel yourself skyrocketing higher and higher, all the worries slowly expelling from your mind - that guy that pushed in front of you in the line, the way your mother yelled at you that morning - all gone. And then the drop. You feel like screaming but the winds rushing too fast, it's blowing your hair back when suddenly a smile appears on your face, an evasive laugh escaping from your lips and sweet ecstasy settles in. You've done it. You are alive. That is what BEING and performing on stage felt like, to me at least.

"It was amazing, I swear there's nothing better than being up there, it felt like electricity was flowing through my fingertips, the crowd tonight and their energy- I think it was the best we've ever played." Chuckling bitterly to myself at my poor explanation "I'm probably not making any sense whatsoever," I slid my hand down my face masking my flushed cheeks, I had completely fumbled over my words but it was all true, especially how we played; I had never seen any of them play how they did then, perhaps because it all felt so real even though it wasn't for a long period of time it still meant something - felt something.

She threw a lazy smile at me, her hair covering the majority of her face disabling me from seeing her stone-grey eyes. "Confession number two," she whispered, her breathing slowed once again. "I think you have a great voice." Heat crawled up my neck and reached the tops of my ears, I wasn't embarrassed nor uncomfortable. I didn't know how to explain it.

My eyes followed the familiar pattern of the 'stars' in our tent once again as I waited for sleep to consume me, thinking about our little confessions.

                                                                                     ***
IT HAD BEEN ABOUT A MONTH SINCE EVELYN moved into the apartment and the fourth gig that we had we had managed to have booked, the crowds somehow had seemed to increase instantaneously, and the huge wave of adrenaline never seemed to stop before I got on stage. It almost become routine to have Evelyn cheer me on and send a weird wink to me before I exited the stage door or as she called it 'smooth blinking' like winking with both eyes since she had struggled to wink effectively. My hands gripped the cool matte microphone, the music behind me beginning to feel like white noise as everything just meshed together.

There was something about being on stage that I had adored, I couldn't quite explain it but it felt like home to me. The guys and I sat on stage just like the old days before we properly formed and just supported some of the bands on the Roxy's stage. My fingers skimmed down the neck of the guitar, sliding past the frets before strumming a ballad, the guys skilfully accompanying me shortly after. My eyes met Evelyn's charcoal orbs, she had this unique look in her eye and for the second time today I felt a wave of anxiety and the urge to know what she was thinking about. It's like when Edward struggled to read Bella's mind and she became his challenge. Except in the real world, there is no sparkling vampires and Evelyn wouldn't be a challenge because was her own enigma.