Midnight Talks #Wattys2017

finale - therapy

CHAPTER 40| KYLE

I WOULD BE LYING IF I SAID I REGRETTED our relationship. It'd be an even bigger lie to admit that I didn't feel the slightest amount of pain coursing through my body like a racetrack with every breath that I took. Victor,Evan and Slater 'suggested' aka strapped me and forced me to go against my will to a therapist after I began to drink heavier and shut down more often although we all knew that there was no cure for a broken heart and I almost punched the last counsellor I went to. I sat in the small room, staring at the blue walls and ignoring the woman's garish look, her silver thinning hair pulled into a loose bun and her black rimmed glasses falling down her nose, not that she seemed to care. She looked so youthful still, her skin was deep in tone, smooth and wrinkle free. If it wasn't for her hair then I wouldn't have thought she was in her sixties. "Kyle?" She called, her voice was like honey and she herself was too. Her personality was rich and sticky, it was almost impossible to not like her or smile when she did. It was almost infectious. "Kyle, are you listening to me right now?"

I rapidly blinked. "Sorry, Jenny? I zoned out. Can you repeat that?" I asked shaking my head and placing my head in my hands.

"Are you thinking about her again?" She asked with a frown, her eyes softened. It was clear that she could see I was trying to mask what I was feeling, even though her and I had ended over six months ago. I said nothing just nodded in response. "Tell me about the day you two ended."

My eyes snapped up at hers, so many brilliant memories boiled down into a thick cancerous tar, I wished I could regret it and move on completely. Even one night stands didn't feel the same. I wanted her back in the most innocent of ways, just to talk again and to feel her warm hands in mine. I gulped, my throat suddenly feeling sore and like sandpaper as I began to picture the last final moments with her and how her hair blew furiously in the wind, we were yelling in the damn rain. Our clothes stuck to our bodies, clinging and restricting our movements. She was upset that I acted like the last few months hadn't happened between us. Like we weren't ever friends, and just strangers. She said how I couldn't just 'glaze over or relationship and pretend it never happened', and I laughed and said that I wished it never had. I was lying of course. I was bitter and I acted like a complete fool.

My eyes met hers, "We were driving back from Whitechapel-"

"That's were your friend Aspen lives, correct?" She asked looking through her notes but half way through looking she seemed to have given up and placed her papers on the floor. I nodded as she gestured for me to carry on.

"We were in the car and it wasn't particularly uncomfortable. I was singing one of the songs I had just wrote when she yelled at me to stop the car. 'Kyle!' She yelled, her eyes were watering as I slowed down and pulled into a back street. 'Can you just stop acting like this for a moment, please?' She pleaded and got out the car, slamming the door so hard she shook the car. I got out following her.

'Where are you going?' I asked her. I was calm but I felt upset that she was upset. I had caught up with her fairly easily. She had her face in her hands, they were soaked with tears.

'Stop acting like everything's okay and like you don't know who I am anymore. You look at me like I'm a stranger and not like we sat up almost every night confessing fears and telling each other our secrets."

'I don't know who you are anymore though, because my Eve would've told me she wanted to leave me. She wouldn't of let me fall so hard for her just to walk away and leave me feeling like this. You look like her, you feel and taste like her but you aren't her.' I  spoke in gritted teeth, her lip quivered.