Patrick Stump and the Flying Car Brigade

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

December flew by, and before we knew it, it was nearly Christmastime. The other members of Fall Out Boy were thinking of performing at the Christmas feast, so we decided to hold an emergency practice to prepare ourselves for the event.

"Let's try playing 'Sugar We're Goin Down," Joe suggested. "We need some work on the guitar part at the beginning."

"But all us boys are just screaming into microphones for attention because we're just so bored!" Pete complained. "This practice isn't worth it!"

"Pete, are you okay?" Andy asked. "Normally you love practicing."

"I'm not okay, I promise, but we should work on that riff," Pete said.

We played for a while, but Pete didn't seem to be putting any effort in at all. I presumed that it was because we were working on instrumentals, and Pete's primary contribution to the band was usually his delightfully emo lyrics, but even when we started rewriting the first verse, Pete didn't help at all. I began to sing, hoping that this would capture Pete's attention.

Am I more than you bargained for yet?

I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear

'Cause that's just who I am this week

Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum

I'm just a notch in your bedpost

But you're just a line in a song

"I love your soul voice, Trick," Pete said.

"Thanks Pete," I replied, smiling.

"What is up with you, Pete?" Joe asked. "You're not even trying today."

Pete sighed. "I can't play on Christmas," he explained. "Pizza Con is in London this year, and Stumpy Boy and I are going."

"Wait a second, Pete," I said. "Just stay where I can see you and douse the lights. You didn't tell me about Pizza Con. Is that even a thing?"

"We sure are in for a show tonight," Joe mumbled.

"Yes! It's the world's one and only pizza convention, and you and I are going!" Pete exclaimed.

"I never said that I was going, but I suppose that I'll tag along," I said.

"Thank you Patrick," Pete said. "You're such a lovely boyfriend."

"We can't play on Christmas if Pete and Patrick are both going to be gone," Joe said. "We'll have to settle for Easter then."

"Let's go back to practice," Andy said, tapping the rims of his drumset. "We can still get ready for Easter."

We continued to play for a while, but we were interrupted when a large grey owl flew into the room and landed on Andy's drumset. It was carrying what appeared to be an issue of a magazine. "What are you doing, Andy?" Pete asked. "Styling your wake for fashion magazines?"

"This isn't a fashion magazine," Andy said, taking the magazine from the owl. "I have a subscription to the Quibbler." He took a look at the magazine. "Look! There's been a Crumple-Horned Snorkack sighting!"

"Those aren't real," Joe said.

"Let me see," I said. I leaned over to take a look at the copy of the Quibbler, and I saw some familiar faces. On the cover, there was a moving picture of Gerard, Frank, Ray, and Mikey. Gerard had changed his hair colour once again (this time to black), and Frank and Gerard were very obviously staring at each other while Ray and Mikey stood there awkwardly. "Holy smokes!" I shouted. "My Chemical Romance is on the cover of the Quibbler!"

"Really?" Pete said. "Let me see!" Joe and Pete both came over to look at the magazine.

"I can't believe that My Chemical Romance is on a magazine cover," Joe said, smiling. "They played the game and took a band real far."

Andy started flipping through the magazine, and we read the article, which mostly talked about the band's new album and Gerard's artwork. There was also, as expected, an article on the supposed Crumple Horned Snorkack sighting, but what excited us the most was what came with the magazine.

"Shipping Goggles!" Pete exclaimed. "I've always wanted these!"

"What are shipping goggles?" I asked.

"They're goggles that make you see your OTPs everywhere," Pete said as he strapped the goggles to his face. He then squealed. "PHAN IS REAL!" he screamed. "Look! They're making out right in the doorway!"

All of us looked towards the doorway. "There's nothing there," Andy said.

"I swear I saw them!" Pete exclaimed. He looked around again. "I don't know where you're going, Trick, but do you got room for one more troubled soul?"

"Pete, what are you doing?" I asked.

"I don't know. I just noticed that you looked really nice today," Pete explained. "You've got velvet lips and the eyes to pull me in." He came a little closer, and gave me a long, passionate kiss, and as he did, I realised that I didn't really mind the Shipping Goggles.

"Can I try?" Joe asked.

"After I try this," Pete said. He adjusted one of the dials on the side of the Goggles. "Patrick! Why aren't you there?!" He reached out in front of him in an attempt to find me.

"This is why you don't use the 'Het' setting, Pete," Joe said. "It blinds you to any and all gay ships."

Pete readjusted the goggles and handed them to Joe. He looked around, and commented, "Frank and Gerard are so cute, aren't they?"

"I'd like a turn, please," I said.

"You can try," Joe said. He took off the goggles and gave them to me.

I strapped them onto my face and looked towards the doorway. Professor Howell and Professor Lester were standing in the doorway, holding hands. "I told you Phan was real," I said.

"Hey guys! What are you talking about?" Professor Lester asked. I took off the goggles and saw that Professor Lester was alone.

"Sorry Professor," I said. "We were just practicing for Fall Out Boy."

"Are those Shipping Goggles?" Professor Lester asked. We all nodded. "Don't wear them too long," he warned us. "They might form a symbiotic relationship with your actual eyes."

"Okay Professor Lester," I said as I took off the goggles and put them next to the Quibbler. I then picked up my guitar and went back to playing. Even if we weren't playing at Christmas, Fall Out Boy needed practice. I played the familiar chords once again and when the chorus came, I sang it with all of my heart.

We're going down, down in an earlier round

And, sugar, we're going down swinging

I'll be your number one with a bullet

A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it