Patrick Stump and the Flying Car Brigade

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

When we reached the stack of barrels, I tapped the rhythm on the centre barrel, and both of us crawled into the Hufflepuff Common Room. It was surprisingly empty, and thus, it was surprisingly quiet, so Miss Jackson sat down on top of the yellow and black couch in the common room and turned on the wireless. "What's going on?" I asked her as I sat next to her, glancing over at Esteban, the only other person in the room.

"Just hear me out." She sighed and said, "I want to break up with Brendon."

"Why?" I asked her. "You two seem so happy together."

"There are so many reasons," I said. "I don't have time for this."

"It's Saturday, so we don't have classes," I said. "I have time to listen."

"Here it goes," Miss Jackson said. "He's really weird around my parents, his forehead is too big, he's probably cheating on me with Ryan Ross, I think he's trying to start a cult, and he has this really creepy obsession with Weezer!"

"First of all, Weezer is great," I said. "Pinkerton is just a great album."

"Don't insult the Weeze!" Esteban shouted, reminding me why I constantly thank God for Esteban. "Sorry," he said. "I'll be out of here in a second. I just needed to find my Herbology textbook."

"It's okay," I said.

Esteban found his textbook, and we resumed our conversation. "It's more than just that," Miss Jackson said. "I think Brendon tried to kidnap Rivers Cuomo once. That's why his flowers always die. Brendon poisoned them."

"That can't possibly be true," I said.

"We went to a Weezer concert last summer," Miss Jackson said. "I saw him poisoning the flowers!"

"So he's an obsessive Weezer fan," I said. "That's not a reason to break up with him."

"He's an obsessive Weezer fan that's trying to start a cult," Miss Jackson argued. "Were you listening to him when we were reading the article?"

"Yes, and while that is slightly concerning, I still think that you two could make a relationship work," I said.

"He keeps muttering 'join us' in the middle of class and drawing these weird symbols on his parchment," Miss Jackson said. "He's definitely starting a cult, and I don't want any part of it."

"Why else are you mad at him?" I asked.

"I'm not mad at him," Miss Jackson said. "I just really want our relationship to be over."

"Then why else do you want your relationship to be over?" I asked.

"We're so miserable and stunning," she said. "I know he's got more wit and a better kiss, but his forehead is way too big. Then again, there must be some sort of magic to fix that."

"Sadly, there isn't a spell to fix that," I said. "If there was, I would have done it on him a long time ago."

"He's weird around my family too," Miss Jackson said. "I took him over to my house over Christmas break, and when he found out that my mum was Muggle-born, he started acting really strangely around her."

"I thought he was a half blood too," I said.

"He is, so I don't know what that was all about," Miss Jackson said. "I just hope that he's not a pure blood supremacist."

"Me too," I said. "Then again, even Voldemort himself was a half blood."

"That's different," Miss Jackson argued. "Brendon's not that bad."

"I don't think he's a Death Eater or anything like that, and you may have misinterpreted his actions," I said. "I would still be careful though."

"I will be, but I doubt that we'll be together much longer anyways," Miss Jackson said.

"Then you won't have to worry about him anymore," I said.

"It's not just that though. There's one more thing," Miss Jackson said. "I just know that he's having a casual affair."

"Why do you think that?" I asked.

"He's always around Ryan," Miss Jackson complained. "When he's not with Ryan, he's with Spencer or Dallon. We barely ever see each other, and I'm scared that he's cheating on me with one of them."

"It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality," I told her.

"He even made his password 'Ryan Ross' when we were on the Hogwarts Express!" she shouted. "He has to be cheating! I don't even want to know what he and Ryan are doing as we speak."

"Alright, maybe he is cheating on you," I said. "That would make him a cheating, cult-leading, Weezer stalking blood purist with a massive forehead." I considered this for a few moments and then said, "You can break up with him if you'd like. It's your choice."

"I'm going to go break up with him right now," Miss Jackson said. "Thanks for your help, Patrick."

"You're welcome, Miss Jackson," I said as she walked away. I started working on my Herbology homework, but just outside of the common room, I could hear Miss Jackson and Brendon arguing loudly. All of a sudden, I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing. I couldn't be sure that everything that Miss Jackson had said was true, and no matter what happened, this would hurt Brendon. He wasn't that bad, was he? Brendon was always nice, if a little clueless sometimes. As I continued to listen to them, I continued to worry, not just for the girl who had been my best friend since first year, but for the Slytherin that she was arguing with. I didn't know if Brendon truly deserved this or not, but either way, I hoped that this would all work out in the end.