LIKE I WOULD ➵ Camila/You

Chapter 5

Camila's POV

As soon as I rushed out of Y/N's office, I went straight to find my fiancé. I still can't stand seeing Alycia and Y/N acting so lovely dovey in front of me. And I find it really weird and interesting that Alycia is willing to have a lunch date with Shawn and I.

I walk towards Shawn, who's busy staring at space. "Hey," He jumps and hold onto his chest.

"Shit, Mila. You scared me," He squealed. I rolled my eyes at him and took a seat next to him. "Where's Y/N?"

I ignored his question, instead I asked him, "What were you thinking? You seem like in deep thought." I raised my eyebrows at him and he just shrug his shoulders.

"Nothing," He sighed.

"I'm your fianceé, you know, you can tell me everything." I told him and place my hand over his' as rub my thumb on it.

He closes his eyes and exhaled deeply. "I- I'm just thinking a way were I can help you talk to your family again. You know- I want them to be with you on our wedding day. I want them to witness their first born child to get married. I know- I know how much you've missed them and- and I can't even do anything to help you. I'm sorry," He stammered out as he duck his face. I was shocked at what he said, well that's a first. Shawn is always put himself first before me, unlike Y/N. Y/N, she's always making sure if I'm fine or if I'm happy. I'm her number one priority. She barely can take care of herself because she's busy fulfilling all of my satisfaction.

I lift his head up. "Shawn, why are you saying sorry? You don't have to apologize because my parents and I are not in good terms. You've done everything you can. They will come around... one day." I gave him a reassuring smile and plant a soft kiss on his cheeks.

I pull away and saw that he has the biggest smile on his face. "I love you so much, Camila. And I really can't wait to get married to you." He said. I just force a smile to him and drape my arms around him.

"I- Y/N and her girlfriend invited us to have lunch date with them." I told him.

"Y/N's girlfriend? Wait... She's gay?" His eyeballs looks like they're going to pop out.

"Yeah," I said weakly and bit my bottom lip. I still hasn't told him that Y/N and I had a four year relationship before and that he's the reason why we broke up. "Do you- do you have problem with Y/N being gay?" I tilt my head as I asked him.

"No, I don't have problem with anyone being gay. We just can't help to fall in love with someone else. Love is... love." He smiled. I just gave him a slight nod. "I love you," He uttered those words again and seeing him looking at me like I'm the most precious thing in the world, I can't help but say it back.

"Love you too."

I'm so confused about my feelings towards Shawn since the day him and I got engaged. I thought I love him when we started dating and when he asked me to marry me, I was really thrilled... I feel like I'm the happiest girl in the world and I feel like I've never felt that way before. And I was even so dumb to cheat on Y/N when I thought he's the one. But as the day goes by, I realized that he can't love me the way Y/N did, even if he tries. Even if he gave me the whole world. He doesn't know me like Y/N did. Hell he can't even fuck me right. He doesn't know what my pet peeves are or what my habits are when I feel so nervous. Even the small details about me, like not wanting to watch scary movies or hating the thought of eating bacon, he doesn't know. Sometimes I'm just thinking that maybe, maybe he's so busy with the things around him, that's why he never payed attention to me or he's just not really interested. I'm still trying to figure out if I really do love him the way he did to me, if I'm just infatuated with the thought him, or if I'm just still with him because he's the only one I got right now. I was slowly losing faith on finding Y/N after she packed her things up in our apartment and broke things off with me. I was so close on forgetting about her and my feelings for her. I told myself if Y/N didn't come back for a year or so, then I will finally letting myself to spend the rest of my life with Shawn and let Y/N go, then out of nowhere she just randomly popped out and all of my plans of moving on, just freaking vanished in just a snap.