LIKE I WOULD ➵ Camila/You

Chapter 19.5

I woke up with someone touching my cheek and tapping it repeatedly and licking my face. I flutter my eyes open and see an unfamiliar surrounding, I knotted my eyebrows, trying to remember what happened last night. I glance to my side and saw Sky's face close to mine. I'm in Camila's apartment. What am I doing here?

I groaned when I felt my head pound. I was going to stretch our my limbs when I feel a heavy pressure on my body, I look down and see Camila sleeping peacefully, and her body is draped with their duvet. She's clutching to my body tightly like she's scared that I'll let her go. Oh God, my eyes widen when I saw myself not wearing any clothes, in the same bed, with my ex-girlfriend who's naked and cuddling with me. I gently lift her head up and and place her head on her pillow. I put another soft pillow next to her so she can have someone or something to hug.

I hop off the bed and grab my clothes that's scattered on the floor. I can't believe I just had a drunken hook up with my ex-girlfriend, who I remember have a fiancé. What am I thinking? I mentally beat myself up as I put some clothes on. I don't want to be the reason for them to break up. I don't want to be the reason why Camila cheated on Shawn, even though Shawn in the reason why Camila cheated on me.

I only have my boxers and my shirt on. As I was wearing my
pants, I heard some shuffling on the bed and Camila decided to wake up, "Y/N?" I heard her rasped out. "Where are you going?" She asked but I didn't answer.

I slowly turn my head and saw her sitting on the bed with her back resting on the headboard and she's also clutching the duvet on her chest. Her hair is tousled and she gave me her sleepy smile, but she still looks so damn beautiful. My thoughts were disrupted when I heard her call for my name again.

"What?" I asked and stare at her.

"Go get the book," She said and pointed to her bookshelf. I hold every book and she's shaking er head every time I pointed at the wrong book. My fingers stop at the hard copy of Kill a Mocking Bird book, Camila told me that that's the one she wanted me to grab. I get it and examined the book, "What am I going to do with this?" I asked her quizzically.

She put her hand out, telling me to handed it to her and I did. I give it to her and sit on the side of the bed near her. She browse every page and stop when she found the one she's looking for. She's giving me a piece of paper, I furrowed my eyebrows at her but she just keep on handing it to me. I grab it from her hand and I saw that it's not just a piece of paper, it's an ultrasound picture of her, our baby. Now, I remember why I went here. I wanted to know if I really did got her pregnant, and I got my answer.

"That was the only picture of our baby," She said. I looked at her and she's almost crying. "She was only thirteen weeks old,"

I can't help but blame myself for everything. "It's not your fault." Camila muttered out. "I know you, I know you're blaming yourself right now. And it's not your fault,"

"But I feel like I could've done something, you know?" I said and sighed. As I stare at the picture I am holding, I can't help but blame my ex-girlfriend for our daughter's death. "If you told me about this then, she should've been alive right now." I can feel my hand ball in to fist. I place the ultrasound picture down on the night stand and stand up from the bed. "If you just took care of yourself properly, then she should've been alive right now. If you weren't just too selfish and think about your daughter health, then she should've been alive right now." I voiced out. "I mean, you're right, I should not blame myself for causing you your  miscarriage because this is all your fault!" I don't know but I can feel my blood boil.

"Y/N, I told you, I tried looking for you. I tried everything just to reached out for you."

I just laughed at her excuse. "We were together almost everyday since you came back to my life and have you even thought about telling it to me?" She didn't answer. "What if- what if you didn't had a miscarriage, will you- will you ever tell me that we have a daughter or you will just keep it and make it your's and Shawn's baby?"