Inception ➳ Niall Horan

[iv] letter

               [iv]
            [niall] [June 3, 2014]

          The obnoxious buzzing of my phone woke me up, and I found my head on top of my laptop and disgust overtook me as I found I drooled on it. With a bitter face, I turned off the alarm I had set for myself. I had an agenda prepared for myself today, and yes it had a lot to do with Amber. I figured out something had to be done before everything get's even more complicated.

          Last night was a little, shocking and hard to take in and it sure did flip my mood. I haven't been feeling good about anything since I spoke to Trent, or more like he rambled about everything that happened. I admit I had the urge to cry right in front of him but I'd look like an idiot, so I held in. But the things he told me only assured me that neither me or Faith have been hallucinating. Amber. . she's really there. 

          But what's the worst part? Everything we had is gone. And this statement is not just an exaggeration. It's absolutely not, also since I did some research on it. Trent's words haven't left my mind at all, neither has the image of his scared and shaking voice as he said it. He was aware it was bad for all of us, but then, it was what it was.

        I bumped into Amber, I really did. And she thought we were dating.

        If that sentence hasn't yet crushed me enough, then I don't know what else will. Actually no, there is a lot more that kept deepening the hole in my heart. Sometimes I feel like it's an endless black hole, and there are more things to come and are just going to keep adding to all my wounds. 

        After Trent left, I sat on the sofa for a good one hour, aware of the slow tears leaving my eyes. Was this the way I was going to have to go along with my so-called second chance I had got? I thought about it all, every aspect of this stupid second chance. Okay, it's not stupid, but it sure is unacceptable to me. I have to start all over again, and anything and everything could go wrong. 

        There was one thing that struck me, then. I wanted to experiment something and I knew I'd either end up relieved or end up drowning in my own tears. And the latter happened. After a long session of thinking and reviving a few nice memories, I got out my laptop and started on my experiment. It wasn't exactly and experiment, more like checking or research.

         Googling Niall Horan & Amber Clayton was the worst mistake I ever did. I probably went through all the pages of results, but there was nothing. There were stories about me and my girlfriend before the X Factor, something about me dating Ellie Goulding. .  everything expect me and Amber. There were no images, no news reports, no videos, no tweets, and no hate even. There was nothing. It was all an empty white space.

           It was like me and Amber never were together. There was no Amber and Niall. And I won't lie, it probably almost induced a cardiac arrest for me.

         I decided to check my phone, not wanting to think about last night's events. But alas, my phone decided to turn on me as well. There were no new messages or notifications and so my mind had started spiraling back to everything that happened. Quickly I decided to go freshen up so I could do what I had woken up for, the only thing that was screaming hope; visit Amber's flat. As far as I knew until all this confusion started, the flat was under the process to be sold to someone, and her family was working on it. It wasn't one very posh flat, it was really simple. But homely. And at that certain point in our relationship when we both knew it was serious, she handed me an extra key.