Inception ➳ Niall Horan

[xviii] confusion

                [xviii]

             [faith] [July 4, 2014]

  “Stop crying, stop crying,” I told myself walking down the hallway towards my room, rubbing my eyes with clenched fists. I'd rather not let anyone know what just happened, I guess it will be a lot to take for everyone. I can't believe I kind of just ended my friendship with Amber, who I knew since twelve years. 

    I couldn't take it anymore though. As much of a bitch this makes me sound, I think I was done with having Amber lead this friendship to whatever way she wants. The fact that my opinions or says had no place in it pissed me off, and also the fact that I just realized it is even more agonising. I wouldn't want such a friendhip. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be but of course, since I've just lost one of the closest person to me I feel like I just broke up with a long-term boyfriend. Which well, I'm thankful isn't the situation. I don't even want to know what that feeling would be like then.

     After I thought I had cleaned my face and it didn't look like I was crying anymore, I waited for sometime outside my room door until I'd actually go inside. I really hope Liam isn't inside because it will not take him more than a nanosecond to realize I was crying. Pushing away the pricking feeling in my heart way to early for my liking, I used my key to unlock the door, and walked right in without another thought. 

       “Stupid tear ducts,” I muttered, doing my best to control my trembling bottom lip, stumbling inside the room. I was hoping I'd get some peaceful sleep after all the crying and it resulting in burning eyes, which I wasn't even able to close. But instead I was welcomed with a very familiar voice ranting about something I had no clue about, but I still heard standing at the door confused.

       “Oh thank God you're here. Liam wasn't there and Louis here was talking about some girl he likes and like how the hell am I, a thirteen year old consult a twenty-two year old on his love-life, like I haven't even had my first crush yet, how pathetic,” I blinked, more stray but unecessary tears running down my cheeks. “Like, help me please. Look at him pressing his face against the window glass, he's looking at the sky like a mental patient, gosh, someone help the poor thing-”

       “Hannah,” I blurted, causing her rambling to stop. I had already forgotten everything she had said, and all I knew was that Hannah had arrived and I don't know how, and there was a melodramatic Louis sitting in the bean bag looking sadder than Titanic. “When the hell did you get here?”

       “Fifteen minutes or so have been passed,” She stood up, brushing her skirt and giving me a sickly chocolate covered toothy smile. I noticed the half downed Nutella bottle on the bed, and cursed myself for leaving it there. Right now, I had somehow pushed all my emotions behind but Hannah was obviously too smart to make it out. “You were crying? Wait, you were crying too? Why is everyone sad? Liam left all uneasy and nervous- what the hell, then there Louis, and then you are- I'm confused. I wanted to give you all a surprise and here I am, getting surprises. Is the band fine?”

     “Hannah shut your mouth and clean your teeth, I'm looking after Louis,” I groaned, pointing towards the toilet. “And, don't you dare, ever again, touch my stuff. You're going to fall sick due to so much chocolate spread in your system,” I picked up the Nutella jar, flicking it in the air. “God,” I muttered.