Inception ➳ Niall Horan

[xii] freezing

                [xii]

              [niall] [June 20, 2014]

          The city of Paris is one of the most magnificent cities ever, let's not get into that much of a depth where it will all seem repetitive. The first time I came here I was ecstatic, because it was one of the places I always wanted to visit. Not just because everyone would want to, but because it was something I really desired. I was awestruck when me and the boys went on the third level of the majestic Eiffel Tower and I still remember how cold it was up there. Cold, but still a wonderful experience.

         I can practically still feel the rush of adrenaline in my veins, when I looked down on the beautiful city from a height of one thousand sixty three feet. It was a little scary but soon I got accustomed to it and just admired the view. It was one of the best days in my life, and for the rest of our days in the city I went up there every single evening. Another thing I also remember doing is taking a ride in the Siene river. Now that was something.

             And then last year— when I volunteered to give Amber a short tour of the city. It took a few hours but it was fun, even though Amber was more focused on everything around her than me. It's okay though. I understand since it was her first time travelling even outside of England and that's exactly how I was when me and the boys toured for the first time.

               And now here I am. This year I just don't seem to have a connection anywhere I go. I'm enjoying the tour by far. The fans are great as always— no exception, the travelling is fun and the boys always come up with something new but somehow to put it bluntly, I'm bored. Not just in Paris, but everywhere to be exact. It's a different kind of bored and it has nothing to do with Amber, I guess. Or at least I hope. She wasn't with me the first time so there's no reason for me to not enjoy this as much, is there?

                I don't know what the boys were thinking when they said that they wanted to stay in for the only free day we had in Paris. I know we practically know a lot around the city now, but I'd still like to go out in the fresh air. So I left them back at the hotel and decided to take a stroll on my own. I really should have gone along with Amber, Faith, Lou and Lux when they decided to take a ride around the city, but I denied. And of course out of boredom I found myself by the river, leaning against the stone railing. I think a little time outside would probably brighten up my mood?

              Blankly staring at the water in which different lights reflected brightly, I started thinking about the past week. Normally I know I'd think about how great the concerts have been, how much fun it was travelling, how our fans were excited as always and all that. But of course there's just one thing I've been thinking about constantly— how much I've progressed in the whole Amber thing. I don't really have a name for it so I go along with that.

             But really, for the past whole week it has been zero progress and I'm super worried about that. Maybe that's the reason I've been gloomy lately but I can't help it. Amber always talks about how I'm a good friend and I appreciate that, but it got me to think. What if she's put me in friends zone and still isn't doing her best to get over her past failure in romance? That could be a possibility, and it worries me to no ends. 

               I'm also aware that it's probably too early for her to even think of a new relationship, but I don't think she's still out of it completely. I considered straight up asking her if she's going to think about a relationship any time soon but that would be too nose poking as of now, I guess. So I don't really know what to do and as much selfish I might sound, that's all I ever care about.