Inception ➳ Niall Horan

[x] stars

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           [niall] [June 14, 2014]

         I can say I have an amazing bunch of bandmates or actually more; brothers. It's a little surprising for me the way they are sticking up for me and supporting me in this whole two month chaos. Who knows? They could think all of this was complete bogus, but I'm delighted they don't. It's not like I had doubted them that they won't support me, but it's human nature to react to these things in a negative way. Especially when you don't know what the outcome can be. 

            Yesterday was wonderful and I can definitely say that Amber has started mixing up with everyone little as the days pass. It's only been two days, but she's definitely more free and not bottled up. In the start I had expected her to be so easy going and casual with only Faith and Liam, but I'm glad she decided to give my friendship offer a start. If nothing, this is a good start I guess. 

              However, all night I was constantly thinking of the text John sent me. First of all, I never thought a man as old as him would have a cell phone, but he does. And that's good, I guess. But then comes the more important question; how did he get my number? There's no way he could have gotten it, I never knew him before and so this entire mystery of John stalking me creeps me out. I'm not complaining too much though since his texts and advises also help me a lot. 

           For the next entire day I tried my best not to think of John, his creepy self, and even Amber. We had our second and last concert in Stockholm for this massive tour, and I wanted it to be spectacular. Fortunately I succeeded and didn't think much about it and I could tell even the boys were happy seeing I knew I had other important things to do and focus on as well. I couldn't let the fans down.

          Plus, I was more happy now that there was Amber with us too. I wasn't going to have anymore emotional breakdowns on stage and that was what I was thankful for. I hated it when I disappointed the fans, but that day no one said anything about me crying on stage. Instead, I received a lot of consoling from fans on the internet. However, the next day it was all gone. No one except for the boys, me and Faith remember that I had a breakdown. And even though its weird and shocking,  I'd like to keep it that way because I still consider it embarrassing.

           Since morning, breakfast, practice, lunch, sound-check and everything before the concert in the evening went perfectly fine. I didn't see Amber much since she was busy babysitting Lux, but I consider that good. I didn't want any distractions and plus I can get used to this since it's her job. And I have my job too. I have to take it slow, though I keep reminding myself I can't work this turtle speed. Now is when I understand how tough it is to impress someone or get them back. The first time it wasn't hard at all. Amber was easy to get and I didn't realize how much I value her until now. I don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work out. 

          Being with Amber was not just all cuddles and kisses. We did dive into a relationship quickly, but when we started dating we matured more as friends together than lovers. We didn't know much about each other and now I have the chance to know new things about her and I can tell it will all be worth it in the end.

         All of us reached Friends Arena a couple of hours before the concert started, and everything was chaos. The technicians backstage had a problem setting everything up as usual due to our antics, and it was no new thing. However Amber looked the most surprised and this was when it got harder for her to look after Lux. Lux has always been this energy ball and especially during concerts, she get's into that mode. The huge stadium was empty as of now, and Lux's loud voice echoed all around the place, as Amber chased her around the equipment.