Star Wars Imagines/Preferences

{Blame} - Kanan Jarrus

Word count : 674 words

I smiled sadly as I brushed through Kanan's long hair, pulling it back into his ponytail.

"I can sense your sadness." He stated softly as he laid between my legs

I bit my lip," I'm not sad." I lied and he knew when I lied

"Tell me." He urged, wanting to know my thoughts and for me to voice them

I sighed softly as I finished his ponytail," I've got to check up on how Sabine and Ezra are doing with planning the next mission."

"(Y/N)..." Kanan tried again yet knew that I wouldn't budge

"I'll see you in a bit." I leaned over to kiss his cheek before getting up and walking outside of the base, to The Ghost

I still didn't have time to process anything that's happened and it was far too much for me. It hurt falling asleep and waking up to the slash across Kanan's eyes from Maul's light saber that caused his blindness. It hurt to think that had I been there to help him, he wouldn't be blind.

I sighed and recollected myself. I'm going to be okay. Kanan and I are together and alive, that's all that matters. I wouldn't know what would have happened if Maul decided to do even more extensive damage to Kanan.

I walked to Ezra, Sabine, and Zeb who were bickering with one another.

"What happened this time?" I rolled my eyes at the three that acted like complete children

They all began talking over each other before I stopped them," Ezra?"

"I have a perfectly planned out mission that they can't seem to agree with." He crossed his arms

"And since when have your 'perfectly planned out' missions ever succeeded?" Sabine raised an eyebrow

"They've succeeded in almost getting us killed." Zeb agreed with her

Ezra's shoulders slumped a bit but he didn't let them get the satisfaction," You guys never have faith in me. We'll free the slaves, I'm sure of it."

"Trust Ezra, guys." I bit my lip when I heard Kanan from behind me," The only way you can get this job done is if you work together and bickering isn't going to help."

"He's right. Besides, Rex put Ezra in charge of this mission. He's got potential, believe in him." I smiled

Ezra smiled thankfully at Kanan and I," Will you be coming too, Kanan?" He asked

The older man shook his head," I can't, Ezra. This is your mission."

Ezra's smile wavered," Its okay. We'll be fine."

I smiled at him and nodded. Kanan placed his hand on my shoulder and I sighed. I couldn't continue avoiding the subject any longer.

I led him away from the three and into The Ghost.

"My room." He said softly and I led him to his room, nervous about what to say," You're nervous."

"About what we'll talk about." I couldn't continue giving more excuses

"Then talk to me, (Y/N)." He held his hand out and I bit my lip, holding his hand in mine

"I should have been there. I could have saved you. It's my fault." I whispered," It's all my fault. I knew going to that place was a bad idea and I let you go without me. I shouldn't have stayed here." I said, tears in my eyes

"Don't blame yourself, (Y/N). It was fate. You couldn't have changed anything that happened even if you wanted to." Kanan tried to reassure me but I shook my head

"Every time I think about it, I think about the horrible fact that Maul would have wanted to actually kill you. Kanan, I-I can't bear to lose you..."

He pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head," But he didn't kill me and I'm still here, with you. You haven't lost me and you never will. You have to stop blaming yourself, darling."

I closed my eyes and nodded, letting out shaky breaths, calming down with the feeling of his arms around me.

"I'll always be here." He promised