when we collide ✰ l.h.

Chapter 7

I don't know how long we've been sitting on this floor, but it won't be long enough. The second I let my words fall out of my mouth I let every emotion I had inside of me take over. I dropped down and hugged my knees. I was mumbling out 'I'm sorry' every other minute while Luke was the one to sit and comfort me.

There wasn't a word exchanged between us the whole entire time because Luke just knew. Even though he'd never been put in the situation, he knew that I was hurting and he didn't want to mess things up further, not that he actually had, but he just didn't want to make me more upset by throwing words back at me.

I was curled up on the ground while my head rested in Luke's lap. The tears stopped flowing at this point, but really only because I had none left. My mind was very cluttered as of now, it didn't make me feel too good not only mentally but physically too. I could actually feel the migraine coming on in the back of my head.

"Stop thinking." Luke quietly said. He was sat down with his legs straight out in front of him and his arms stretched behind him. After switching positions many times, he'd found that this was most comfortable for the both of us.

Usually when he said things like this, things that convinced me he could read my mind, I didn't answer him just as a silent reminder that he was right. I took my focus from his tapping shoes and down to my crossed arms. I wanted to stop thinking and playing things over, but this had hit a certain nerve I hadn't expected it to.

This then brings me to a back story as to why I'm very affected by this. I have an older sister named April, wow Autumn and April, how well do those clash? Moving on, she's 10 years older than me and right when she got out of high school, she got engaged to her loving boyfriend of 2 years. My parents were not too happy about it, actually they weren't happy about it at all, but they let her go with it since she said he made her very very happy. About a month or two before their wedding, their very expensive wedding, her fiancé cheated on her. It sounds quite similar to my story, except Ellis and I weren't engaged. It's all very odd to me.

But the point of the matter is that I was 8 and all I was told was that 'Sissy's boyfriend isn't a nice man and won't be around anymore.' Until the age of 15 I kept asking what had actually happened and April actually told me the truth. She told me how she went off her rocker and was out every night and making a fool of herself. I was a bit confused since I thought the only way to deal with break ups was with ice cream and sad movies, but that wasn't the case.

From that day on I promised myself I would never fall into the trap of the 2-part misery. The break up then the aftermath. And even though the first part had been well done, I knew I would keep myself together. It wouldn't be easy and I would need some help, but that's where Luke comes in.

Right when the idea of Luke supporting me ran through my mind, I actually found myself being physically supported by him. He had slipped out from under me and had picked me up without a word and in ease. His arm clung to my back and under my knees as mine were wrapped around his neck, classic bridal style.

His lips pulled into a faint smile, barely noticeable, but it was enough for me. I could only imagine that I looked like hell, probably worse, I feel like I'd just been put through it. Soon enough he led the way to my bedroom and placed me gently down on my bed. I was still sitting up and kept my feet on the edge of the bed to where I was still curled up to myself.

He left my room right after as I thought that he left me to willow away into my jumbled thoughts. I was sad, but more hurt. I hadn't expected such a thing from a boy like Ellis. I tried not to get beat up about it since I had carried such a strong image of myself, but I believe this was an exception.

Now I might add that I was more angry at him than anything. I didn't miss him and I didn't plan on it either. Any boy that has the nerve to lay a single hand on another girl in a sexual way while dating another is just awful. Whether they think of it as nothing, it's never just nothing to another person. I won't miss his arms around me, I won't miss his lips on mine, and most importantly I won't miss the false sense of love. Because once I really think about it, I didn't love Ellis. As he didn't love me.