I Couldn't Tell

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

So much thoughts went through my head, I began to panic. My ex-boyfriend, Dylan Tinyhammer. What is he even doing here? He's in College. Charlie was crossing his arms as if he wasn't pleased. Dylan had his hands in his back pockets as if he was being serious as well. Should I just  go to the restroom? Should I go down there and ask why Dylan is here? Shit. Charlie looked up at me and saw me. That made Dylan turn his head and look up at me as well. I'm stoned. What do I do? TO THE ERASER. I turned and walked to the eraser that was father away from  the door. I bent and held the Hello Kitty of smoothness into my hand. I tried getting every nervous goosebumps in my feelings by looking around at the eraser. It was shaped as a flower with Hello Kitty in the middle, and there was a hole at the bottom for the pencil to go through.

I dated Dylan on and off during sophomore and junior year. He was too busy with his college and work. I didn't like the lack of the relationship, we always would make up because of the sex. Then I just finally made it official by letting it go. He didn't seem to have a problem. Now after a year and six months, he decided to come? Why here in my school though? What in the-

I heard the school entrance door open, and the air rush in. I was afraid to even look back and even expect was I thought would be expected.

"You weren't kidding when you said you were gay, you were?" 

That was Charlie's voice. I gulped and my heart was racing. Act it out. Act it out.

I turned around and faced him with an eyebrow up, "What are you talking about? I was kidd-"

"Don't give me that shit." He was up close to me and looking down at me. He didn't look happy.

I looked down, and felt my heart sunk, "Charlie-"

"What is it that keeps you from telling me the truth? I never was a homophobic. Was I to you? We knew each other for-"

I pushed passed him and started walking down the hall. I'll go all the way around to go piss. I really needed to go now that I'm in the pressure, heart pounding, and many feelings I couldn't tell of. My head was going light and weak. "I need to piss. Let's talk about this later."

I felt a tight grab on my arm, and he pulled me. Once again with the slamming, he pinned my shoulders to the wall after I groaned. "You need t stop walking away when I need to talk to you! Why didn't you tell me? Why? Did Kareesa, Felix, and everyone else know but me?"

I looked up at him. How was I suppose to answer so many questions when I was to much in shock? I couldn't look at him, I felt done. Just done for. Then again, was I too stupid to not just tell him?

He sighed, "Jeydon, I'm not a homophobic. You should know that by now. What were you afraid of?"

I don't know what I was afraid of. I know that I was afraid that he might find out that I was in love with him. Knowing that I was gay, would make it more suspicious on him realizing. Now that he knows that I'm gay, knowing that I'm in love with him would make things quicker.

He released me, knowing I wouldn't say anything. "Jeydon, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have freaked you out like this. Just please answer me."

I can't answer him, I'll just end up revealing my feelings. I looked up at him. What should I say? Then the bell rang and I felt my heart crash landed and explode. "I-I'll tell you after school." I quickly started walking fast towards my Calculus Class to get my things. I'm going to faint.

The classes felt slow as fuck. My heart was pounding, replacing the clock noise. I'll have to explain things to him later. I don't want to stop talking to him or have anything weird between us. What should I say without admitting my feelings for him? I know he'll just end up asking me during lunch. I'm not going to be like 'it's because i'm in love with you charlie. i want you up my ass.' NO!

The bell rang for lunch, I sank down into my seat. I'm not going to get up and go to lunch. I'll just  hide in the big stall again. I gathered my shit and walked slow down the hall. I looked around making sure I didn't spot Charlie or he didn't spot me. Charlie can be sneaky and pop up anywhere, and it's kind of scary. I felt something grab my shoulder and I panicked and shook in startle.

Recognizing Felix's laugh, "Calm down. It's just me. Oh! By the way," Me and Felix stopped in the middle of the hall, while it was already almost empty, "I finally got Kareesa to understand. She's to stubborn, she just knows that Charlie would get upset. She also didn't think you shouldn't hide it from him, because he isn't really a homophobic. Also-"

"He knows." I looked down and I nearly choke on my words.

"What? You told him?"

I shook my head, "No. He found out."

"How-"

"Hey guys! Uh, Jeydon you alright?" I looked up and saw Kareesa's concerned face.

"Kareesa, Dylan was here" I told her. "I don't know why Dylan was here, but Charlie and him bumped into each other. Dylan told him, Dylan told Charlie everything." I felt weak to my knees. I had to hold in so much emotion.

Kareesa brought me in a hug, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back tightly. "It'll be alright. Why are you so worried? He's not a homphobic, Jeydon."

"You don't understand." I whispered.

I saw Charlie standing at the end of the hall, looking at us. My heart went back up into my throat, and started beating in it. Then Holly came up behind him and got his attention. I sighed and closed my eyes, then pulled back from the hug.

"The reason why I won't tell him, is because; he'll easily find out that I'm in love with him." I looked at her straight in the eye.

"Oh.." She bit her lip and looked away.

I actually laughed at her reaction. Kareesa is that slow, now hopefully she won't misunderstand so quickly. Then again, I probably should have explained it more clearly to her. 

"What should we do then?" Felix asked.

I looked down and sighed heavily, "I guess I have no choice to tell him the truth."