The Missing Dolan Girl | Dolan twin Fanfiction|

Twenty One

Avery's POV:

My family stood still and quiet. Now i was scared they wouldn't want me to speak to her. She is and forever will be apart of my life like all the other 14 girls. They were the closest thing i had to a family growing up. We understood each other's pain.

"Guys please say something" i mumbled weakly.

"Oh sweet heart" my mother said as she ran over and pulled Mclean into a hug "you must be so scared and lost. You went through the same thing as my baby girl. I swear we'll do everything we can for you"

My mothers reaction left me speech less and Mclean crying. Ethan and Grayson both pulled me into a tight hug and my dad joined my mom in comforting Mclean. Cameron🌸 pulled me from my brothers and gave me the tightest sisterly hug i could imagine before going over to Mclean with my parents. Cameron Dallas smiled comfortingly making my heart warm.

I soon pulled the boys over to the circle my sister and parents made around Mclean.

Ethan nudged my shoulder " she's not at all related to us right? because she's hot as hell" he whispered.

"Ethan!" i yelled slapping him. He shrugged smirking.

I walked up to Mclean and hugged her again.

"So, if child services agrees, me and your father have decided that Mclean can carry out traveling with us until it's safe to return home and we can figure out a more permanent decision" my mother explained.

"Oh mom that's incredible!" i smiled hugging her excitedly as tears leaked from my eyes. Today was filled with more hugs than i think any other day of my life. Every time was another feeling of warmth.

My parents met with child services while we headed back to the hotel.

"What are we going to do about sleeping arrangements?" Cameron🌸asked.

"Well we have an even number again but it's 3 boys 3 girls so who is sharing a boy girl room?" Cameron🔵 added

"Oh crap i didn't realize about that" i sighed.

"I already have a room to myself so someone can just come to mine" Cameron🔵 said.

"I'll move to Cameron Dallas' room and Mclean can sleep with Cameron Dolan. i don't think she'd be comfortable sleeping with any of you guys." i said.

"No offense guys but i'd rather be with Cameron🌸" Mclean laughed.

"Avery you and Mclean can share a room than i can with Cameron🔵 and Ethan can share with Cameron🌸" Grayson added.

"Nah that would make to many people have to move their stuff. It's easier if i sleep in Cameron's🔵 room" I said only half lying. That wasn't the real reason i wanted to room with Cameron. I just wanted to sleep with him, not in a dirty way. I just want to lay with him and talk and for him to hold me. I'm not ready for anything more than plain out sleeping with him in the same bed. I'm not ready for all that dirty stuff now and probably not soon either.

I moved my stuff into Cameron's room and Mclean moved her very few items into mine. My parents talk with child services went well so we plan to go out to eat later on today. Everyone was either realizing or getting ready.

I collapsed into the bed and sighed happily. It smelled like a mix of Cameron and fabric softener. I was so
exhausted for all the traveling that i almost want to risk going home and Anne snatching me up again, but then i remember all the things i have here and that if i ever lost that i think i'd drop dead.

Love was something i never felt there. Anne was so mentally fucked that her idea of love was twisted. The girls were to broken, and i didn't want love until i met my family. I was always worried when i finally met my family i'd be to fucked up to trust them, but there's just this crazy feeling i can't explain i've had since i saw them in the airport. I knew who they were the moment i saw them. They knew me. We had never even met before but i knew them. The inside jokes i missed somehow i understand. I understood their personality and demeanor from the second they spoke their first words to me. I can't even put a word to what it's like, it's just there, this crazy bond. I love them more than anything i've ever seen or felt or heard or had. They're my family and i'm so great full i have them now.

And Cameron. I've never felt anything even close to what i feel when he m with Cameron. I can't even base it off of any other relationships i've ever had because i haven't had one. I missed so much being trapped in that house that i barley know what feelings are. I don't know anything. I know of it, Anne made sure i did, that's apart of her twisted game. She forces you to know what you're missing. I know what everything is but i don't know it. How it feels, how it smells. There are so many things in this world to experience and this vacation is the perfect way to absorb as much memories as possible, but there are some memories i'll never get. What it's like to open up that toy you're 3 year old self wanted so bad, or what it's like to be in the grade school spelling bee. Or to play on a playground and have an undying imagination. And then there's feelings that i could be incapable of feeling because i'm so lost. What if Cameron is just a glance at what relationships are like? What if it's not and he's that greatest thing i'll ever have but he has had others in the past that were better. What if he turns out to be the love of my life and i won't be enough for him. What if he can't fix all the problems i have. What if i end up alone and he ends up happy. What if we both move on and he's just a hiccup in the past. He couldn't be, something so powerful can't be a hiccup.

I hadn't realized how hard i was crying until i felt it in my stomach. Just in the perfect timing too, Cameron walked in.

"Avery what's wrong"  Cameron rushed in pulling into his arms.

"i'm so messed up" i cried into him shirt "i'm never going to be capable of normal"

"why would you want to be normal?" he asked and he rocked me in his arms.

"I don't, I'm just scared Cameron"

"of what"

"Me, you, us, Ethan and Grayson, Cameron, my parents, people, new things, death, dying, being alone, Anne and being like her, you leaving me, my family leaving me, feelings, love, hate. Im so scared of everything" i explained "I'm afraid i won't be enough for you. I'm afraid you'll put so much into filling my whiles that you'll lose bits of yourself. Im scared i'll ruin you. I'm scared ill ruin me. I'm scared that none of that will happen and i'll be happy but Anne will find me. I'm scared of her house, i'm scared as if grow old i'll get like her. Im scared that i'll fade into a mess. I'm scared i won't. I'm scared of being scared forever. I'm scared of the things i'm not scared of. I'm scared of how silent you are right now"

"If there is one thing in this entire world you don't have to be afraid of let it be me Avery. I may hurt you, or screw up, but i'd never spit in purpose. Don't be scared of me leaving because i'll never walk away from us. You're worth working on. We're worth working on. I promise that i'll never walk away from you. I promise that i won't lose myself in you and if i do that it will be in a good way. I promise that you'll never have to be alone."  He said "and i promise that no matter how many other things i've experienced or how many people i've been with that you are the best out of all of it"

Now i stopped myself from crying despite how much i want to.

"I promise that i'll never walk away either. I promise that i won't let you lose yourself and if you do so do i and it's completely magical. I promise that you'll never be alone. And most of all i promise that you make up for all  the things that i've never experienced and all the people i've never met" Each promise was undyingly true. Every word was true. Ever second was honest and ever minute was real.

Then he kissed me. So slowly i could feel every moment of it. There were three words i wanted to say so bad but i knew he wanted to too so i held them in. We didn't have to say them to know that we did. I would say it some integer day, and it would mean more because every second i spend with him it grows.

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Heyyyy!!! I promise i'm not dead. Writing has just kind of flew over my head for a while. I'm back tho. i'm trying to update as much as i can. Love yah, bye 😜