Wild Side [h.s au]

Chapter 39

Elena

Things have been tense lately. Not only because David is still missing, but because Harry and I have begun working on the plan to make an alliance with Wildfire. If it happens, then the two of us might not have a future together, a future that wasn't even supposed to be a part of the plan. Now I'm torn between my promise to my brother and my growing feelings for Harry.

He trusts me, he has said it more than once. Despite what everyone keeps telling him, he chooses to fight his doubts and trust me, giving me mixed feelings. One of them is most definitely happiness - because he makes me happy, the fact we've built something makes me happy. But on the other hand, I know why I'm here, I have a mission of my own to fulfil. The problem is, I don't think I want to fulfil it anymore because it means everything I've built with him is going to shatter. I may have done many mistakes, I may be confused about a lot of things and hiding twice as many, but I'm certain in one thing when it comes to Harry.

I'm completely in love with him.

I never planned it to happen obviously, you can't plan these things. But what I feel for him consumes me completely, I have a growing need to protect him just like Alex, and recently I have discovered I'd do anything for him. The day he almost drowned was an eye opening experience, the unfortunate event evoking feelings inside me I've tried to keep at bay, but obviously failed miserably.  Despite my efforts to fight it, Harry has become my new weakness.

I'm not stupid, I know what this means and I know that either solution to this completely messed up situation will cause troubles between us, but I hope if I explain to him what was my objective and that things have changed for me, he might consider forgiving me. I don't want to raise my hopes up, but I don't want to just give up, either. I would never give up on him unless he says he doesn't need me anymore.

I know the conversation I'm about to have with Harry will also damage my relation with Alex, something I'm terrified of. I was doing all this for him, for us, but he has noticed things aren't the same. It was supposed to be him and me, away from all this, from this destructive reality we live in. For a long period of time, my brother has been the only person I truly cared for, but now that I have Harry, everything has changed for me, starting with my plans and needs. Alex simply doesn't understand it because he claims he has managed not to get attached to anyone, but it's so clear that's far from the truth.

My breathing is quick and shallow as I reach Harry's training room, knowing he'll be in there, my chest feeling as if I'm carrying a heavy burden on it. He's been spending hours every day in there for a week, ever since David has disappeared without any trace. We still haven't been able to track him down, but none of us is considering giving up, especially not Harry. I realise my palms are coated in sweat and I wipe them away against my jacket.

I hate how hard this is. I'd rather fight an entire army than be faced with telling the truth. Because having to deal with the consequences is harder than fighting in a battle.

Before I can open the door, someone opens it, Niall's face coming into my sight. My eyebrows furrow in confusion, especially when I notice his saddened expression, blue eyes avoiding mine. "He's. . . he's not really up for talking right now," Niall tells me. "It's been so long since I last saw him like this, I don't want to watch it and know I can't do anything. I can't help him."

My heart clenches at his words and I take a step forward, placing my hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. "Don't worry, you're a good friend for trying to help anyway."

He manages a small smile and sighs. "Just don't take anything he says to heart, he always tries to push everyone away in any way he can."

"I know that, it's alright." He nods and steps aside, allowing me to enter. Niall then turns and leaves, running his hand through his blonde hair. I close the door and lock it, my eyes searching for Harry.