Day 80

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Day 80- 2:20am

Heat. Heat. Heat.
Flames. The fire.
The smell of burning flesh.
Not mine. His.
Screams.
Not mine. His.
Pleading. Begging.
Bloody knife in hand.
Not his. Mine.
Pitch black eyes.
Not his. Mine.
No. No. No. No.

"Millie?" I heard Lucifer call my name. I realized that my breathing was fast and my face felt warm and wet. My eyes shot open and I sat up. It felt like the world was crushing down on me. I felt Lucifer wrap his arms around me, but I pushed him away. I couldn't... I got out of bed and ran to the bathroom.

I slammed the door shut and locked the door. I then, promptly, threw up in the toilet. As I sat there, leaning against the rim of the toilet everything slowly began to relax. I shut my eyes hopping it would help make the nausea go away. I took a breath and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I opened my eyes and numbly went to the sink. I washed my face before putting my hands in the water. I closed my eyes and when I opened them my hands were covered in blood. I gasped and looked in the mirror to find pitch black eyes in place of my own and blood splattered all over me. I blinked and it all disappeared. I leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor. I ran my fingers through my knotted hair.

"Millie, please open the door," my head snapped towards the door. I sighed before leaning over and unlocking the door.

"Come in I guess," I mumbled. The door knob turned and Lucifer opened the door.

"Millie..." Lucifer knelt down in front of me. I was very interested in the design of the motel room bathroom. "Please. Please, talk to me."

"Am I a monster, Luci?" I asked, my voice was quiet and soft. He said nothing. "Am I a monster?" I made myself louder and I looked up at him, staring him in the eyes.

"I think I'm the wrong person to be asking," Lucifer answered. I sighed and put my head in my hands. I fought back the tears threatening to fall. Lucifer sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around me. This time I let him. He placed a kiss on my head and I closed my eyes. Somehow when I was with him everything didn't seem so bad. I could feel my body creeping its way back to sleep. I wanted to fight it.

"I'm so tired..." I breathed. "But I'm so scared of falling asleep... because when I sleep I go back- go back there."

"It's okay. I'll protect you. I'll always be with you... I promise," he replied. Oh my angel... you shouldn't make promises you can't keep- but I'll let it stand. Just for tonight. I gave in to my body and I went to sleep.

Day 80- 9:49am

When I awoke I was back in bed. Lucifer's arms were wrapped around my waist, his face in my shoulder. I smoothly turned to face him. I traced little designs into his shoulder with my finger. I noticed his breathing change and I knew he was awake.

"Morning," I whispered. He groaned slightly and pulled me closer. I snuggled into his embrace and kissed his cheek. I saw the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile. I remembered the events of the night and closed my eyes quickly trying to think of anything else. Then, my phone rang. The both of us jumped slightly at the sudden noise that broke the blissful silence if the motel room. Lucifer whined as I Weasley my way out of his arms. I leaned over to the bedside table. "Dean..." I answered the phone.

"Where are you?!" Dean growled. I could hear the slight lisp and the slur of his voice. He was still somewhat drugged up after his surgery yesterday morning.

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