Chapter 3

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I felt like a new person in the back of my fathers truck. I kept touching my hair as though it was going to disappear.My mother and father talked among themselves for  most of the ride home. On the road that led to our house my father slowed the truck down. 

"I know this has all come to a surprise. But we wanted you to feel like a new person. You have been the happiest that we have seen you in years, and it inspired us. Although, we frown on short hair styles, we realize that you are your own person, and may have your own values. In fact, we are certain you have your own values. You set a goal, and mastered your results. You earned this. It is up to you to set your own routines for your own state of mind. We have been your reflection for so many years, and you are coming of age to set your own. We are proud of you, and we love you." stated my father.

My heart soared. I was once again at loss of words. I smiled brightly. We pulled in our drive way, I was still softly touching my hair. I felt as though I was not even walking, but floating. I had my new hair do, and my shopping bags. I felt like Cinderella. I looked at  Danica's house. To my surprise she was sitting on her front porch. She was watching me intently. I suppose that was my breaking point to feeling like Cinderella. I bowed my head and watched my feet when I saw her watching me. My look may have changed, but my insecurity had not. Clearly, I had to work on matching my look with my attitude. I could feel Danica's eyes burning through me. I walked fast into the house. I felt like she was burning holes straight though me, exposing who I really was. Who was I now? I had a lot to think over. I had to make a decision rather soon, because school would be starting. 

I tried to feel that same feeling I had when I was sitting in the back of my fathers truck. The spirit had left me, but I did not want my parents to think I was unhappy. I faked the excitement that I felt before.  How was it possible, that one person could cause so much discomfort and misery? I knew the answer as soon as I asked the question. Because I allowed her to. After dinner I went to my room. I looked around. It was plain and simple. The way my attitude reflected it before. I was sure that Danica had a room that all teenage girls wanted. I went into her room once when I was young, I was amazed then. She had all the things I could have ever dreamed of having. She had a whole book shelf of Disney short stories with the matching dolls as book rests at the end of the shelf. Her room was pink and lilac purple. She had a small wicker table and matching chairs set up for tea parties. She had a beautiful doll with a tiara surrounded by teddy bears all dressed in formal clothes. A real glass tea set with sunflower print.. Matching tea cups, and saucers. Her bed was the most amazing part of the room. It was a daybed, with sheer curtains draping around the sides of the bed. The center piece that hung the curtains was a diamond crown. The bed was pink with flower prints all over it, and lots of ruffles that reached the floor. She had so many fluffy pillows in shapes of flowers that made the bed look like a sofa. She had all the popular character dolls resting comfortably on the pillows. In the corner of the room was a desk. I was in awe of all the markers, crayons, coloring pencils, glue sticks, glitter, and coloring books.  She also had bean bag chairs in front of a t.v. with all of the children movies I always wanted to watch. She had a night stand next to her bed with a lamp with crystals hanging from the bottom of the shade, and a beautiful beta fish in a fish bowl next to the lamp.  The dresser in her room was like one from a movie stars dressing room. The mirror was lit up with round lights. She had a jewelry box with real jewelry. Lots of hair ribbons, bows, and sunglasses.  I was astonished. I was afraid to touch anything. She portrayed the role of a princess. 

My room clearly needed a make over. I did not know my style. I never really had a style. I have a t.v stand with a small t.v. My dvd player sits on top of my t.v. I have a dresser that houses my brushes and our family picture, My bed is a normal full size bed. I have a solid print green comforter on it, and matching pillows. I have a night stand with a simple lamp, clock, and my bible. I have a window bench with green and white pillows on it. Under it is my only book shelf that houses my books. My walls have never changed since childhood. They are wallpapered with flower bouquets all over them. I sat down at the end of my bed. Was I ever really happy with who I was or who I become? I never thought that being plain and simple was wrong. I never required a lot. I never asked for a lot.  I let out a deep sigh. I went to my mirror and saw someone I did not recognize. The reflection staring back at me was someone I wanted to know. I smiled. Perhaps I was not princess material. I was Daisy. I was just like the flower. Not an extravagant flower, but I still lit up a bouquet. I fumbled through my dresser drawer. My aunt had given me a small make up bag on one of her visits. She told me to keep it a secret because she knew my parents would never approve of me wearing make up. I had no idea what was in the bag. I never opened it. I thought it may contain a secret alarm that would go off and send my parents into a frenzy. I slowly unzipped the pouch. I was not sure what went where. I assumed the colorful shades was for my eye lids. I took the applicator and colored my eyes with a light blue. I still looked plain, with blue eye lids. I fumbled through the bag, and found a tube that said mascara. It showed an image of eye lashes, so I painted my eye lashes with it. They clumped black. I  tried seperating my lashes with the applicator. Satisfied I relooked at myself. Not too bad. My eyes was defining. I looked further through the bag. I found a pencil. I colored my bottom eye lip with it. I was looking different. I smiled at myself. I had no idea what I was doing. I went further into the bag. I found lip stick, I colored my lips a light pink. I remsembled one of the popular girls that hung around Danica. I was sure I needed make up tips. But for my first try I was ok with the way I looked. I needed more friends. I modeled around my mirror. I felt silly. I giggled at myself. I decided to end my fun before my parents caught me wearing "war paint" as my father described it. 

I crept into the bathroom and found an old wash cloth and scrubbed my face. I was not sure if make up was something I could get accustomed to. I needed practice. My aunt wore it all of the time. I thought about paying her a secret visit to learn how to really apply it. I took my blackened wash cloth back to my room and hid it with my make up pouch. I decided I would skip my work out video for the night. I was exausted from all of the excitement of the day. I looked at my shopping bags of clothes. I wanted to model them all. Instead, I hung them in my closet. I decided to call it a day. I had the night to decide on who I wanted to be.

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