28 // Kill Me or I Will

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NOTE: Chapters 28 to 31 are flashbacks from Felicia's past. Though they are not crucial to understand the story, they offer insight on Felicia's time in captivity and her relationship with Peter, so I'd recommend you to read them. If you don't want to, though, you can skip them by going straight into chapter 32. Thank you and enjoy :)


C H A P T E R   28  :   K I L L   M E   O R   I   W I L L


❝ When I saw you for the first time, I knew I would never want to see you for the last time.❞


"Murder lives forever
And so does war
It's survival of the fittest
Rich against the poor
At the end of the day
It's a human trait
Hidden deep down inside of our DNA

One man can build a bomb
Another run a race
To save somebody's life
And have it blow up in his face
I'm not the only one who
Finds it hard to understand
I'm not afraid of God
I am afraid of Man"


F L A S H B A C K S

"Everything." The menacing, loud voices demanded. "Again. Harder. Now."

My body, sticky with sweat and feeble from fatigue; my mouth, stained with my own blood; my hands, filled with theirs; my mind, emptied of all will.

It had been so long since I had seen the light of day. Sometimes I wondered if this was how afterlife looked like. Worse than death; a place where you could die but never stay dead. The truth was I was just a lost child in a world colonized by monsters. And all the exits were just viler entrances.

"I... can't." I let out in a faint whimper, spitting blood onto the cold cement floor. My fists were shaking from the effort of trying to stand up. I knew the consequences of refusal. Just as violent as those of failure. "I'm... dying..."

One of them struck me violently with a sharp object. In between my blurry vision and fuzzy mind, I couldn't discern which weapon it was this time. All of them felt the same. I didn't know why I still tried, why I still foolishly believed they could have the smallest hint of humanity in them. They never showed me any mercy. They never answered my pleas. The only thing they wanted from me was perfection. But my best always fell short of it.

"Even if you can't, you will." One of the voices said, so devoid of emotion it felt like listening to a black hole speak. "You don't get to choose, 666."

I made the mistake of staying still. Someone hit me again, this time harder, and I screamed in pain, a raw, animalistic growl wrenched out from inside me as more of my blood was spilled on the floor.

"Clearly your lungs are still working." The voice spoke again, the mockery and cruelty in his tone chilling my bones. "Get up."

"Kill... me." I spat out, blood dripping down my chin. I refused to be the monster they wanted to make of me. I'd rather die than allowing something else to take control of myself.

"That's what we're doing." Someone else declared, their voice controlled and static like grey noise. "So that you may be reborn from the ashes of your past."

I felt hysterical waves of anger invade my spirit in an intensity I knew I couldn't hold back. It was as if someone was stepping on my grave. As if I was choking beneath the ground. They had been the ones to burn my entire story to the ground.

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