The Wolverine & The Black Cat

18 // Game of Survival

C H A P T E R   18 :   G A M E   O F   S U R V I V A L

"I can see, see the pain in your eyes
Oh, believe, believe me and I have tried
No, I won't, I won't pretend to know what you've been through
You should know, I wish it was me, not you

And it's the fight, and the fight of our lives
You and I, we were made to thrive
And I am your future, I am your past
Never forget we were built to last
Step out of the shadows and into my life
Silence the voices that haunt you inside"

I woke up abruptly, tears running down my face and sweat down my skin. I was breathing with difficulty, but fortunately Bianca was a heavy sleeper and she didn't notice anything.

I moved to get up and winced, looking down at my hands. There it was again, pain like needles stuck underneath my nails. The tips of my fingers were hurting bad, and my cat claws were out, my sheets ripped. My heart was bumping furiously and I could still see his face so clearly. I could still feel everything: the pain, the fear, the rage.

Because it hadn't been a nightmare. No. All my nightmares were simple reflexes of reality. It was a memory from my past, one of the most painful, one I tried to suppress for so long and was now shattering the surface.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep again, nor did I want to, so I got up as silently as possible and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, hoping a normal routine would help me clear my mind. It still wasn't enough, so I walked out of the room and started wandering through the mansion. I didn't want to go outside, so I went into the attic.

I had never been there, but it was a silent, isolated place. It was slightly stuffed with furniture and boxes, but I didn't mind. I started walking around with my sight guiding me in the darkness, my fingers touching old chest of drawers and wooden desks. I needed an anchor to reality; as long as I had something to keep me in the present, nothing would drag me away from it and into the past.

It was then that I heard heavy steps climbing the stairs, and my brief moment of serenity quickly vanished, replaced by an irrepressible fear.

I can't believe this is happening again, I thought, my whole being out of order. I couldn't think nor feel straight, a single chill running up my spine. They're here. They came after me and found me again, because no matter where I escape to, they will always find me. They will never leave me alone. They came to finish what they left uncompleted.

Only this time, I wouldn't let them. They had gave me the tools to fight, and I was going to turn that against them.

Instead of running away, I moved silently towards the door, and grabbed the person as soon as they took the last step in the stairs. I pinned them against the wall swiftly and harshly, giving them no time to react, my claws pointed at their throat, ready to taste some blood.

"Is this revenge for the last time?" I heard him ask and I felt like my heart was going to stop from the wave of relief that invaded me. Coming to my senses, I focused on my night vision and finally recognized the man in front of me. I made my claws retract easily, but my fingers didn't move from his shirt. I needed another anchor and right now it was him.

"Sorry, I thought..." My voice was fragile, devoid of its usual feistiness. "I thought you were someone else."

I'm going crazy, I'm seeing them everywhere. I'm so afraid they will come back to get me, that they'll drag me away again... I might have escaped them physically but I'm still attached to them mentally.