All That I Am

What's The Next Step?

Rayne's POV

I walked in the house after meeting with Andre, Camille meeting me at the door with her peppy smile. "Mom, daddy and I spelled 7 words today! Then I wrote them.. see?" She waves her paper in my face.

"That's good babe, I'll look at the writing later.." I respond nonchalantly. I was proud of her, but I couldn't show it because of what had occurred earlier. Andre kissed me.. and I liked it. I was disgusted with myself, Michael is going to be so upset.. but I had to tell him.

"Where's your father?" I ask Camille.

"In his office with Mikey." She responded, her eyes now focused on her video game.

I quietly opened Michael's office door to my son playing on the floor with a toy truck, and Michael on the phone, leaned in his chair and his feet on his desk. He signals me to hang on with one finger up, his grin still directed at me.

"Well David if you can get enough people to volunteer I'm sure the tribute would be a good success, I'll connect you with my assistant Ramone and you guys can work together... the year is almost out so we've basically got a year. Talk to you later." He says with a smile, "hey.. where've you been." He directs to me, his arms outstretched.

I push out a weak smile, "we need to talk..."

"Yeah we do.. I'm thinking about taking a trip to Gary.. what do you think?" He says.

"Uh.. that's a good idea.." I sigh.

"Good, I'm thinking we go in a few years. Maybe once Jr's a little older.." he continues.

I watched him talk about the kids and plan the trip he was talking about. What I wanted to say to him was eating away at me.

"Andre and I kissed!" I blurt.

He pauses in his tracks, his eyes searching the floor, his excited smile slowly falling from his face, and I watched his beautiful features furrow into confusion. "What?" He asked.

My face buries into my hands before I clasp them on my lap. "Andre and I kissed.. and I liked it."

"When?"

"Earlier today. I met up with him to let him know that it wasn't a good idea for he and I to be friends... and before he left he just ki-"

"I don't wanna hear that part again..." he interrupted. "You liked it?"

"A little... Michael, I'm sorry... seriously. I don't know what I'm going through right now."

He sighs, kneeling beside me in the chair I sat in. "What am I doing wrong Ray?"

I frown, "what? You're doing everything right.. what do you mean?"

"Obviously I'm not, you kissed another man. We're married Rayne... you're attracted to someone else!" His voice elevates.

I couldn't figure out how I felt about anything, I wasn't conflicted, I knew I loved Michael but for some reason I wasn't attracted to him. He was always so busy, I honestly felt the same way.

Michael looked at me with so many different emotions flooding his eyes, a mix of anger, heartbreak, confusion and shock plagued his face. It was honestly that familiar feeling I had the day he had suddenly left me. It scared me to see him that way, knowing how I felt I couldn't believe I made him feel this way. I couldn't do anything but apologize. But before I could, he made a statement that sent chills through me.