All That I Am

Those Home Videos

Rayne's POV

I button Mikey's top button and straighten his collar while Camille ties her shoes. Michael heads downstairs with two hats in his hand "Ray, brown or black?" He asked.

I give him a once over before pointing to the black hat quietly. He and I were both ignoring the fact that the word "divorce" popped up between us in the past week. I've been punishing myself for almost cheating on him and he's been pushing himself to forgive me, but right now neither one of us have been happy.

I take Camille and Michael to the truck and strap them in while we waited for Michael. We were all headed to Katherine's for a big family "dinner." Technically thanksgiving, but because Katherine is a Jehovahs Witness, it was just dinner.

"What's taking daddy so long?" Camille says, peering out her window. "I can't wait to see everyone." She smiles. Camille was very family oriented and loved to be around everyone. It'd honestly break my heart to separate her from the family with this divorce.

Michael hops in the car beside me, latching his hand in mine and placing it to his lips. I give a small smirk as we pull off from the ranch. The drive from Michael's to his mother's was a two and a half hour ride, so I ended up falling asleep leaning my head on his shoulder. We still loved each other, we just were unhappy.

Randy and his daughter pulled in right before us and we met them at the front door. "Hey, I didn't know you guys were coming!" He smiles hugging the kids.

"Camille insisted... she wanted to see her cousins." Michael chimes. We walked inside to be greeted by the entire family, everyone was sprawled out throughout the house. All the men sat and watched sports with their sons while the ladies and their daughters were in the kitchen helping Katherine with the food.

Jackie, Jermaine, and Marlon all greeted me with a quick hug as Michael swooped our son out of my hands. I watched him sit with all the guys quietly watching a game he was uninterested in before I head into the kitchen with Camille. Latoya hugs me like never before, squeezing me tightly. "Rayne it's so good to see you!" She smiles. Rebbie and Katherine both greeted me with hugs before Janet drifted over to me with a look of concern. She was the only one who knew about what was going on with Michael and I.

"How are you feeling?" She asked quietly.

I just sigh, shaking my head.

"We'll talk.." Janet nods.

"Mommy can I go play? Siggy said he'll push me on the swings." Camille says sweetly.

"Yeah of course, just be careful." I respond. I usually enjoy myself with the Jackson family, but I feel like such an outsider this time.

***

Janet and I found a spot where she and I could talk. I told her everything that happened since the kiss between Andre and I.

"You gave him divorce papers? Rayne.. why?" She asked, her mouth gaped open.

"I just don't feel like we're ever gonna get back to where we were before this... why should he subject to being with someone who he doesn't trust?" I sigh..

"You know marriage is never perfect. But you can't keep hating yourself. Michael will get over this eventually.. you both need to learn from this and move on. You two are the longest lasting couple out of all of us, you know you guys will move past this."