» Observations || Viktor Nikiforov

37. Past Sufferings

37. Past Sufferings

❝ I do believe it's not dead and gone.❞

When I get back to the hotel I am completely drained. I had gotten a text from Sirra that everything was settled and that she would see me tomorrow morning. I open my door and just crash on my bed and before I know it I drift off.

"nobody will ever love you" a voice bites at me. "did you really think he would love you?" "You are pathetic" "look at yourself, horrifying" "you are nothing" "he hates you" "nobody loves you" "your parents are probably glad they are dead" the voices keep coming, one comment nastier than the next. I try to get away, but they keep going, I press my hands to my ears and scream, but there is nothing that will drown out the sound.

I awake by my own piercing scream and for a minute I just hit the air, before I realize where I am. I get out of my bed and head to the bathroom. I splash cold water in my face and look up at my reflection, my eyes are red and swollen and my hair looks like a tangled mess. "Pathetic Ember, pathetic" I tell my reflection and I head back.

I see that it's not even midnight yet so I pick up my phone and dial Yuko's number.

"Hello?" I hear at the other end of the line

"Hey"

"Ember hey!"

"Are you alone"

"yes, why?"

"Are you sober?"

"Yes I am, now spit it out Em, what's going on?" she asks and I tell her everything, I skip the part where Celeste is using my song, because she already knows and head straight to Jack and to what I am about to do tomorrow.

When I am done it remains silent at the other end of the line.

"Yuko?"

"Omg Ember, that is amazing! I can't wait" she squeals, I laugh and she joins in.

I check the clock and see that it is nearly 1 am, I hadn't realized we were talking for so long, I guess I really missed her.

"Hey Em, I am going to sleep it is really late and you need to be rested" it's as if she was reading my mind "I really missed you, see you tomorrow!"

"I missed you Yuko, see you tomorrow" I put away my phone and walk towards my suitcase. I must have been mental, but I took out Victor's navy blue shirt. I thought I was insane when I packed it, but I am mentally thanking myself now.

I quickly change into the way to large t-shirt and crawl back in bed. This time I am wrapped safely by the ocean breeze and the pine green forest.

My alarm wakes me and before I know it I am on my feet. My heart is beating so fast I am sure it will reduce my lifespan with a few years and by the time Sirra gets to my room I am long done.

We head to rink and thank the heavens that Sirra is not much of a talker. Once we get there I glance around looking for any familiar faces, but finding none. I flash my tag at the security and go backstage to prepare for my routine later today. My bag is dangling from my neck and my nerves are killing me.

"What is it you want Celeste" I recognize Victor's voice, it is coming out of one of the rooms. I freeze and decide to eavesdrop.

"The same thing you do"

"Oh I don't think so, I don't want you to ever touch me again"

"Don't pretend you didn't like it" her tone is filled with confidence it makes me want to hurl.

"You kissed me once and if you ever do it again I can assure you it won't end nicely" he spats, his voice filled with venom. My brain can't process what is happening.

"Viccie don't be like that, you know you want me" she replies, not at all affected by his harsh words.

"Don't call me that and you know I don't want you I made that very clear, not ten years ago and not now"

Wait a minute, why is he so mad they are getting married aren't they? I was thoroughly confused.

"Are you still pining over that girl?" I can practically hear her rolling her eyes "what was her name again? Kimberly? Emberly?"

"Ember" I let out a shriek and blow my cover. I try to get away, but the door flies open. I shrink a little, but there is no hiding now.

I see Victor who seems furious, but his expression softens, he probably expected paparazzi.

"Hi" I smile awkwardly, fuck my life.

"Ember?" I stand there watching him and Celeste takes a stand next to him. Her expression changes to annoyance when she sees me.

My mind is a mess and I look at her hand, the ring is still there and when I look at his hand so is his. What is going on here?

"I guess I have to say congratulations" I look at Victor and straighten my back.

"congratulate me?" he asks "with what?"

"the engagement" I explain and his brows furrow.

"What engage—"

"Ours silly" Celeste cuts him of and laces her arm through his. He wiggles out of her embrace and looks at me.

"You thought we were getting married?"

"Yeah, I mean the rings...I" I mumble, nothing is certain anymore.

He bursts out laughing. "Oh Ember" he is barely able to get the words out. He is gasping for air and I just stare at him.

Celeste seems really uncomfortable and just stands there. When Victor is finally done laughing he takes a deep breath, trying to get the laughter out of his system.

"Never in a million years would I marry her" he says "wait let me explain" he says when I want to interrupt him, he knows me too well.

"These rings were a gift from Yuri, he is wearing the same one, it is to represent our friendship and relationship as coach and student"

Student and coach.

I put a hand in front of my eyes and feel so stupid I could kick myself. I feel two hands on my arms and I feel electricity running through my veins, followed by the warmth I had missed so much.

When I open my eyes I see that Celeste has left and I stare up at Victor. The twinkle has returned to his ocean eyes and I smile, my cheeks heating up ever so slightly.

"So the wedding is of?" I ask and he laughs.

"How much did you hear?"

"The most important bits" He flashes me a heart-warming smile and he bends down. I meet him half way and wrap my arms around his neck, god how I missed him.

"Ember" The door is opened abruptly and I turn around, Victor still has his arms around me. "oh, I ehm" We are met with Yuko who looks quite awkward at first but turns happy really soon.

"okay glad that is resolved" she says and I blush "but Ember, we have that thing we planned to do, remember?" I pick my brain and am brought back. My Routine.

"Oh god, You are right" I turn around and look at Victor. "I need to go, I ehm promised Yuko, but we need to talk! Don't leave!"

"What now?"

"Yes, but we will be back in time for Yuri to skate!" I assure him and he drops his arms. I head towards the door but turn around.

"Hey Vitya?"

"hmm?" his ocean locks with my forest green.

"I love you"

Vikber is back!!! We are so close to the end guys! I hope you like it!

Xx Es