October 31st-Yuri Plisetsky X Reader

3-The Ruler Metaphor

A/n
I'm writing this while I'm sick at 1:30 am so I'm edit this tomorrow when I'm slightly less dead, I apologize for any errors until then. Thanks!

It was Saturday morning, and you really just wanted to sleep.

But of course that wouldn't happen.

You were awoken by an annoying chime of your phone going off. At first you ignored it, but then as it kept continually going off you began counting the chimes. You finally picked up your phone at chime 115.

As you rubbed your eyes at the bright screen, you began to make out that the texts we're from Ota.

O: y/n i need help
O: y/n pls
O: y/n rlly i need help
O: its 9:00 am y/n you should be awake by now
O:y/N
O: Y/N I STG
O: Y/N WAKE UP
O: Y/
O: N
O: W
O:A
O:K
O:E
O:U
O:P

You eventually stopped reading each individual text, and just opened up iMessage. As soon as you opened up Otabek's contact, iMessage crashed.

Thanks Ota.

Suddenly, your phone began to ring.

"Hello?" You said.
"Y/N THANK GOD I THOUGHT YOU DIED." Ota yelled into the phone.
"No, but I think I just died from your yelling. Whats up?"
"Y/n, could you please tell Yurio that you're going to Chris' party tonight? Yurio says he won't go unless you are."
"Why do I have to go?" You asked.
"Oh, I don't know. Something about the gay being to much for him to handle alone. Personally, I thought the gay was lovely. Apparently not for Yurio." Otabek exclaimed.
"Ok, fine. Hand the phone to the tiny gay." You said.

You faintly heard Ota yell "Oh little gay, y/n wants to talk to you!" But that could just be your imagination.

Maybe not.

The phone was passed to Yuri, and you were greeted with an irritated "Hello?"
"Whats got your leotard in a twist?" You asked him.
"Nothing, did you call me a little gay?" He asked.
"No, of course not!" You said sarcastically.
"I'll have you know I'm a bendable ruler. I can stay straight, but I can also bend like Viktor's dick. Its rather unnatural really." Yuri stated.
"That is quite possible the best metaphor for being bisexual I have ever heard. And more importantly, how do you know what Viktor's dick looks like?" You questioned.
"Don't ask. It was a scarring time." Yuri said with a tinge to his voice.
"Anyways, I'm getting off topic. I'm going to the party tonight, and I better see your ass there."
"Oh, thats great. I'll see you tonight then." Yuri said with a sudden hurry in his voice.
"Ok, I'll see you later then?" You said. You got no reply, because Yuri then hung up.

'That little shit.' You thought.

'I'm gonna beat his ass when I see him tonight. His cute little ass.'

You suddenly became very confused with yourself.

Did you just call Yuri cute? No, of course not. He's been your best friend since grade one, not your crush.

'Oh well, I'll see him tonight.' You thought.

You wondered why he hung up so abruptly, but you could ask him tonight while his ass was being beat.

A/n
I stg as I'm reading this I'm thinking this is just a crack chapter

I'm so sorry