First Steps.

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Have you ever felt when the rest of the world blurs and you are standing staring at thing that might change the chances of happiness or bring more light to your sparkling life.

This is how I feel, picking up a letter that had been posted few days before, this letter was from a single person who was the reason of my depression, my father’s unease and most of all the reason of my life’s failure.

I pushed the letter in my clutch and placed it on the kitchen’s counter.

I leaned forward, by placing my hands on the counter and took a deep breath to ease the sudden anxiety that fluttered in belly.

“hey Kat, have you seen- what’s wrong?” came Xavier’s concerned voice.

I looked up and saw him clutching Alex diaper bag and some rash cream; he was learning how to put diaper on Alex.

It started of being cute when he frowned in concentration or tied the diaper backwards, but soon became so annoying that I screamed at him and rushed to the kitchen to have a glass of water.

I looked at him and pushed aside the unease and straightened up.

“It’s nothing. What do you need?” I forced a smile and walked to wards it.

He looked at me unsure and held my arm and made me look into his grey eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he pressed and rubbed my arm, softly.

“It’s just a letter from a person, you don’t need to worry about it.” I assured and pecked his cheek and moved towards Alex’s room.

Alex was crawling towards the window and making ‘oo’ sounds; he picked his bum up and spread his arms and hands on the wall balancing him.

I stood there amazed and felt Xavier’s presence behind me. I gasped and put a hand over my mouth and watched him take his first fall and steps.

He fell back on his bum and groaned and tried again to stand up. He gripped on the window sill this time and stretched his legs and stood on his feet. He laughed in triumph and gazed outside the window and awe.

He gurgled and swayed on his feet and steadied himself. His diaper clad bum bounced and his T-shirt stretched up and revile his chubby tummy.

“Oh my.” I gasped at my baby’s accomplishment and felt an arm around my waist. I looked at Xavier and saw pride in his eyes.

Alex looked at us, smiling and giggling, and shook his body in glee.

“You did it honey.” I said and walked towards him and cooed him.

“That’s my son.” Xavier said proudly and crouched down to his height and patted his head lovingly.

Alex turned and stayed on his feet, swaying a little and stood for five seconds, without any help.

“Yes, yes that’s it. Come on.” I urged him to move forward and extended my arms for him to walk a little.

“Come on Alex baby, you can do it.” Xavier encouraged and motioned him to come forwards.

Alex frowned, moving his feet to take his first step and stood on his steady feet and then like he invented walking he rushed towards me, while losing balance and smashed his little body in mine and he shrieked in so much happiness that his body shook.

“Yes, yes,” I shouted and picked him up and spinned him around and bounced him in my arms.

Xavier was right behind me circling his arms around me.

“His first steps Xav.” I said and turned towards him and saw so much love and admiration that I felt my knees give out.

It was then I realized how much I liked him, to the point where it felt that I was falling for him, and I was falling damn hard.

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