The Come Up

Chapter 54 - Awards

Chapter 54

I walk carefully in my Long and sleek Avanti dress. It's dark purple and it hugs my body from my boobs all the way down to my thighs and long legs. The split starts on my thigh and exposes my right leg. A $1,000 dress, the cheapest of the Avanti collection. The shiny black heels elongates my long legs and gives the appearance my ass is plump and firm, $550 shoes. My black straightened hair is well groomed with a few additional tracks, making it long down to the nape of my back. My jewelry includes a dazzling diamond bracelet and long matching earrings. The matching choker tugs at my throat but I ignore it, $2,000 all together. I look daringly at the hundreds of cameras pointing at me. I attempt to control my breathing. 

In.

Out. 

Stay calm and collective. 

Your dress is long. 

Kick and walk. 

Kick and walk. 

Don't step on it, it isn't yours.

The carpet beneath me is red and the wall behind me reads BET Awards in fancy script that I can't name.

They call my name from different positions of the crowd of photographers. I turn to the side, shoulder straight, head slightly tilted, neck elongated. I've become accustomed to the bright flashes and I've learned where to look so I don't go blind. But I have yet to get used to this uneasy feeling while on the red carpet. The feeling telling me not to mess up, that everything I do is being watched to a T.

 I smile big and allow the cameras to flash.

"Chanel! To your left." One of the paparazzi yells. I look in the direction of the voice casually and smile gracefully. My heart is pounding in my chest and I can hear it in my ears. I swallow and desperately hope I don't begin sweating. Though Casey and Cece have prepped me for this as best as they can, I find it hard to remember all their advice while literally in the spotlight. 

I don't know if I like it. I can feel myself getting nauseous. 

The lights flash. I look over my shoulder and bring my shoulder up to my chin.

"Beautiful." I hear as the cameras continue to go off. I glance at Casey and she gives me a thumbs up. I change positions slowly. My hand raises to my hip and rests there casually, the other hand lays on my left thigh. 

'Make sure the slit is exposed, don't block it. Change positions slowly, if you move too fast you look more nervous and the camera will capture bad and blurry pictures, you'll hear about it in the tabloids.' Casey's small voice echos in my ear. 

She waves at me to continue walking down the carpet. Slowly, I release myself from my latest pose and wave goodbye. I do the open mouth smile and hold it long enough so they can capture it, but not too long so that it doesn't seem real.

We walk further down the carpet where there is a little more space and not so many photographers, here there are journalists. Camera men hold their cameras on their shoulders or with the tripods and the reporters in front, hold the mic. I've seen so many celebrities already that cannot tell if the nervousness I feel is from them or the entire experience. I try to live in the moment as much as I possibly can. Mac says to take the good feelings with the bad feelings and embrace them because one day I'll need them to humble myself. It's a little insane how humble I still feel, even though I've been in the spot light for a few months now. The paparazzi popping out of nowhere and the constant pictures with fans every time I go out have been an adjustment.