All Grown Up | jdb

50

TAYLOR

I stand besides Justin at the podium, as he begins the speech he has prepared for the service.

"Thank you all for joining us today to celebrate the beautiful lives of Mrs. Palmer and Zackary Palmer. As some of you may know, Taylor and I grew up together, with our friendship stemming from my friendship with Zack. All throughout high school, I idolized Zack. I wanted to be as great as him on the soccer team and even though we shared captain ship on the team, he was still always better than me." Justin and the rest of the members here today let out a chuckle. "Zack was always an amazing, genuine friend, brother and team mate. I say brother because I looked at him like an older brother but also, he was an amazing brother to Taylor." Justin looks over at me for a moment before turning back to the microphone. 
"I will never forget the time Zack came to me one day after a bad game and said to me 'so what you missed a goal? A player will play the game and miss millions of goals and probably make the same amount. But its not about the goals, its about the player and how the player chooses to deal with the losses and wins' and that stuck with me forever." He clears his throat before saying "I believe Zack chose to deal with both his wins and losses in the best way possible and I think for that, it makes up for the short time spent on this earth. He lived a full, beautiful happy life and died doing what he loves. Protecting the people he loves. And there is nothing more beautiful than that. I can only hope to live a beautiful, courageous life the way he did. But even if I don't, I will be satisfied knowing I had the opportunity to know and love a guy who did." Justin pauses to wipe the tears that had fallen just as my own fall as well.

"I have known Mrs. Palmer most my life, too. She was a fantastic mother to both Zack and Taylor and I am forever grateful to just have experienced the kind of love they share in their family. Rest in peace Mrs. Palmer and Zackary Palmer." Justin says before stepping away from the podium, in tears. The church claps as I struggle to compose myself and come to the podium. 

After calming down a bit I say into the microphone, "Thank you for all coming out today, my family and I sincerely appreciate it." I pause looking out at the sea of family and friends.

"If I have learned anything from the death and life of both my mother and Zack, from the hours I spent staring at my wall with Justin strumming his guitar and the many prayers I have sent out, it is this. Beauty shows itself in the strangest of ways. In my life, beauty is shown in the way Zack has fallen for the sake of our country. Beauty is shown in the way my mother died of a broken heart at the devastation of her son's passing. Beauty is shown in the sorrow of my friends and family." I pause and turn to Justin and say "Beauty is shown through the person who stays up for hours on end to play the guitar and sing to me to calm me to sleep." I turn back to the audience and add "Beauty is the love I have for my mother and brother, and the eternal love they have for me."

I pause letting a tear fall, "I want to thank God for my life with these two beautiful people and I promise to forever remember their legacy. Until next time, Zack." With that, I descend from the podium and walk back to our pew with Justin.

At the burial, I sit in between Justin and my father, with my eyes closed as I listen to the pastor say a few words. Tears fall down my rosy cheeks before I open my eyes and reach for Justin's hand for comfort. He takes it, squeezing it and then gently rubbing his thumb over the back of it. After the pastor's prayers, Justin and I take a handful of moist dirt and throw it onto Zack's casket before doing the same for my mother's and watching them lower into the ground.

When the service comes to an end, friends and family, approach to say goodbye and their last apologies. When everyone had left, Pattie, my father and Justin watch as I stare blankly at the tombstone that read: