"You look great, Sal." I smiled, fixing his tie so it could fall perfectly against his chest. As my hands smoothed out the fabric, I let my mind wander away. I couldn't imagine how I would be knowing Sal has made a commitment to be with somebody who isn't me forever. Just the thought of him being engaged was enough to make me cry myself to sleep some nights, asking why it couldn't be me. Why it never could be me...
It's like a fire in my chest that keeps burning me, telling myself that I'll never be good enough. It's a sting in my heart that makes me realize that the person I would die for wouldn't even think about saving me. I'm just the person that's there, the person that they would go to when they don't have anybody else.
"Hannah? Are you alright?" Sal giggled, bringing me out of my trance, "You've been staring at my tie for ten minutes."
My cheeks flushed red as I looked down, taking my hands away from the smooth fabric while mumbling a quiet "Sorry" while backing away so he can see the final look.
All the guys walked to the other side of him, catching his reaction at the man he will soon be becoming. I couldn't bring myself to catch his reaction, knowing that the happiness that will appear on his face won't be because of me.
"Wow..." Sal breathed, running his fingertips lightly over the tie, "I'm getting married. Guys, I'm getting married!" he smiled, running his long fingers through his dark hair.
Joe went to hug him, giving him a small squeeze. "Congrats man," he said to Sal. I've never seen the guys so excited for him, and it crushed me to know that I couldn't even act happy for him like that. I always try to hide myself, trying to escape telling him how "happy" I was.
My eyes became glossy as I took a quick glance at Brian. He was looking at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen in my life. He had looked at me as if I had been lost and sick for months, and had no hope of ever finding my way back home.
Brian knew how madly in love I was with Sal. He was the only one who knew, in fact, and I wasn't the one who had told him. He somehow had figured out my secret love for Sal. It was strange, knowing that one of Sal's "brothers" knew that I, his best friend, had this huge and undoubtable love for him, but as time went on, Brian actually helped me with my problems with Sal and his fiancé Amethyst, and I couldn't thank him enough.
"I just can't believe that in one month, I'll be having the wife of my dreams. In one month I'll be making a commitment to stay with her forever. Gosh, guys, I always thought that this happiness was fake, but she made it real. My gosh, I just can't believe I'm marrying her," Sal breathed, showing off the biggest smile I've ever seen on him—a smile I could never cause.
I felt a tear run down my face, and I quickly wiped it away, hoping none of the guys have seen it.
"Hannah? What's wrong, hun?" Sal asked, taking short strides toward me.
I took a quick look at Brian, who nudged his head forward, giving me a symbol to tell him what was on my mind. I should tell him. I should just let everything out now before it was too late, before Sal is too out of reach for me to grab onto, but I can't, I can't take away that precious smile he was wearing. I could never see him unhappy, I had to lie to him.
"I'm just—" I paused, taking a deep breath to collect myself, putting on a small smile to make it look like I truly meant was I was saying, "I'm just so happy for you, Sal. Growing up with you and all, I just can't believe you had found somebody you really love. I'm so happy for you..."
Sal's lips quivered as he smiled big, wrapping his large arms around me, giving me a strong hug, a hug that made me feel so secure, I was dreading the moment he will let go of me.
