The New York Hotel

The Bed

Dean opened his eyes slowly, a loud noise blaring in his ears. He looked at his hands and saw they were covered in thick, crimson, blood. Dean gasped and looked in front of him. He was in the driver's seat of his father's old car. He looked around and saw they were on a pair of train tracks. He heard crying in the back seat.

"S-Sam?" Dean asked softly as he tried to look behind him. A sharp pain shot up his neck and he was starting to see double. He blinked a few times, his head prickling. What happened?

"Daddy!" a little boy shouted. "Daddy!"

Dean's brows furrowed as he looked behind him. He was going to tell the little boy to be quiet, but the little boy was himself. Well, a younger version. Dean blinked in disbelief and looked over at the passenger seat. He felt his eyes widen as he saw his mother's body, covered in glass and blood. "Mom? Mom!" he shouted loudly. He turned his head back and realized that the blaring was coming from the train that was heading towards them quickly. He turned back to Mary who was opening her eyes bleakly. "Mom, come on. We have to go."

She tried to sit up. Dean could tell she was trying so hard but she couldn't move. She looked over at Dean, her eyes filled with fear. "I can't move."

Dean felt a sharp pain in his chest. "No. No you have to go mom. I won't let you die. Not again."

Before Mary could do anything, Dean unbuckled her quickly and then reached over and opened her door. He pushed her out harshly, making sure that she landed in the grass. He turned around and saw Sammy was already out in the field. Dean looked at his younger self.

Five seconds until the train hit.

"You gotta go little man. Watch your head."

Three seconds.

Dean unbuckled his younger self and opened his door.

One second.

Dean was able to watch his younger self fly out of the car as the glass shattered.

"Dean!"

Dean gasped and sat up quickly, his heart racing. He looked around the room and searched for some kind of clue as to where he was but then his green eyes met blue ones. Dean felt the tears rush to his eyes. He had saved her. He had saved his mother.

But it had just been a dream.

Before Dean could stop himself, he burst into tears and buried himself into Castiel's neck. Castiel simply wrapped his arms around Dean's body and hugged him tightly, letting Dean cry as long as he needed to. "Shh," Castiel cooed softly. "Shh." Castiel re positioned themselves so that he was leaning against the headboard and Dean was resting on his lap, his legs on either side of Castiel's.

Dean gripped his shirt tightly, trying to calm his body down. But sobs just continued to rock his body, causing him to tremble and quiver. The dream had felt so real. Dean thought he had saved Mary. But he was wrong. Mary died all those years ago. And no one could change that. Not even Dean.

"I'm sorry," Dean whispered shakily. "I'm so, so, so sorry."

Castiel caressed Dean's head softly. "It's okay Dean. It's okay."

Dean took a deep breath in and then breathed out softly and slowly, trying to reassemble himself. "Okay, I think I'm okay." he leaned back a little, his hands resting on Castiel's shoulders.

"Dean, do you want to talk about it?" Castiel asked with concern, his eyes searching Dean's.

Dean looked at Castiel, his eyes red and puffy. He wiped his nose gently with the back of his hand and then sighed. "Yes."

"Look, I know you don't think that- wait what?" Castiel asked, confusion in his voice.

Dean sort of laughed. "I would like to talk about it."

"Oh," Castiel said softly. "Um, okay."

Dean sat there comfortably, absentmindedly playing with the collar of Castiel's shirt. Castiel didn't mind.

"When I was four, um... We were driving home from Christmas shopping. My mother always liked to do her shopping early." Dean said, smiling a sad smile. "Anyways, we were driving home when this car hit us." Dean sighed softly. "Um, we spun out of control and rolled a few times. There was a lot of blood, a lot of glass, and well..." Dean paused, trying to remain calm. "A lot of damage to say the least. When we finally stopped, our car landed on these train tracks, the front of the car facing the driver who hit us. I was the first one to snap out of the daze. The fact that Sammy and I were okay is beyond me. Anyways, I heard a loud noise, like the sound of a train. There were flashing lights going off everywhere and I looked out my window only to find a humongous light coming towards us. I remember unbuckling Sammy and throwing him out into the field that was right next to the tracks. I then cried out for my dad who was slowly coming out of the daze... He turned to my mother who was still unconscious.

"He said her name multiple times and she finally snapped out of it. He told her to unbuckle herself quickly but she couldn't. She was paralyzed, which isn't surprising since the driver hit her door. The fact that she wasn't killed on impact was a miracle. But miracles have to stop eventually. We had seconds before the train hit us and my mom made my dad save me instead of herself." Dean inhaled deeply. He stared down at Castiel's chest, tracing random patterns along the thin gray fabric of his shirt. "So, my dad grabbed me but not before I heard my mom tell me to take care of Sammy and watch out for him. Then, my dad and I went flying. The train had hit the car just as we jumped. When I looked up to see her, the car was gone. And so was she."

Dean fell silent as the tears slowly slid down his cheek. He bit his lip, trying to stop the tears but failing miserably. He felt Castiel wrap him in his arms once more, Dean's body sliding down slowly to align with Castiel's. "I'm so sorry for your loss Dean." Castiel whispered softly, stroking Dean's back gently.

"It should have been me." Dean said in a raspy voice. "If I had died instead of my mother, my dad wouldn't be the angry, alcoholic, pathetic mess of a person that he is now. Or maybe he would be. But Sam would have mom. She would have taken better care of him than what I've been doing."

Castiel looked down at Dean. "Dean don't think like that. You lived for a reason. You are doing your best with Sam. And Sam has turned out to be such an amazing boy. That's not because of your father, Dean. That's because of you."

Dean looked up at Castiel, his eyes stinging from the tears. He looked back down at where his hand was resting. "I guess so."

Castiel smiled a little. "Dean you are an amazing person. Your mother loved you very much and that's why she told your father to save you. If she were to see who you've become, she would be extremely proud."

Dean smiled sadly, resting his head on Castiel's chest. "She would, wouldn't she?"

Castiel nodded, grabbing Dean's arm softly and turning so that he could fully envelop Dean with both arms. Dean instinctively wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist, inhaling his lovely scent of lavender and vanilla. He sighed contently, resting his head on the pillow. Castiel rested his chin on the top of Dean's head. Dean felt his eyes drooping a little as exhaustion took over. He closed his eyes slowly as sleep took over.

Before he fell completely under sleep's spell, he felt two extremely soft lips against his left temple. "Go to sleep Dean. I'll watch over you."