God Bless The Broken Road (Jonathan Toews)

Run Away Baby

Maisie

As my birthday draws closer I couldn't help be excited. 23 wasn't anything special, but there was a time in my life I wasn't sure I would make it this far or be in such a good place in my life, but look at me. I'm thriving. Jon wanted to take me out for dinner tomorrow so I went out looking for a dress for the occasion. I walk around Michigan avenue just enjoying the day off while Jon hung out with the boys all day. I found a beautiful black dress that had a open back, I couldn't wait to wear it. After a while my feet started to hurt and I stop to get lunch. After getting food from Panera I sat down and finally relaxed. That was until my phone goes off and I see it was the school.

"Hello" I ask into the phone.

"Hello, is this Maisie Brown" a lady ask.

"Um yeah. Is everything okay" I wonder becoming a little worried. They never called unless something was wrong.

"We're not sure. There's a older couple here claiming to be Jacksons parents and requesting to take him with them. They weren't under his contacts or a pick up parent so I wanted to contact you first" she says and I nearly drop my phone. How? How did they find him?

"Mam are you still there" she asks.

"Uh... yeah, have they talked to him yet" I ask on the verge of crying. This was my worst nightmare.

"No. They haven't had contact yet" she assures me.

"Okay... okay. Just don't let them see him or anything of the sort. I'm on my way" I tell her. I leave my food on the table and dart to my car. Like lightning I get to his school and rush in. I see my parents sitting there all dressed up like there was nothing wrong. They've done this many times for me, parent teacher conferences, when DCFS came over, they were good at selling this happy family skit but I was buying none of it. The audacity of these people to try and pull the same shit as when I was a kid with Jackson... I couldn't believe my eyes.

"You have a lot of balls coming in here" I whisper yell walking towards them.

"We just want to see our son, is that such a crime" my dad asks.

"Yes... it is. You don't get to pick and choose when you get to be a parent. It's either you are or you aren't. And you aren't. I think so, Jon thinks so, and the state most certainly thinks so too" I growl.

"What does Jackson think" he asks.

"Jackson doesn't know. He doesn't know that his biological mother has done so many drugs she is dead more times she's alive. He doesn't know his dad is a drunken low life piece of shit who almost killed him then ran way. He doesn't know what it's like to nearly starve to death or feel unwanted or unloved either. He will never know the pain I know" I snap.

"Oh come on. You were perfectly fine" my mom claims.

"I was the farthest thing from it and you know that. You knew exactly what you were doing and you knew I couldn't do anything about it. People like you will rot in hell for what you did to me. The only thing worse than the way you treated me was the way I treated me on top of it. I'm not letting you get to me or Jackson. Period" I yell.

"People are gonna find out Mae. You're not untouchable just because you got this nice man now, he can't save you from what already happened. People are talking, piecing things together. It would be a shame if his real parents came forward and your little secret got out, wouldn't it? You're in the newspaper, on tv, you can't run forever" she smirks.

"Oh yeah? Watch me..."

With that I pick up Jackson and grab his things before taking off. To where? I don't know. Maybe this will all blow over if I leave or I can find what I need elsewhere. But I needed time and space to figure out what to do. I'm scared, terrified of what my parents will do to him or me, then eventually Jon... he never did anything wrong but I was going to hurt him. That's what hurt the most. I couldn't do that so I was going to make sure Jon won't get hurt by me or my parents or anyone and did the one thing I did best, and that was run. At this point it would be easy to just tell Jackson what is really going on. Just to get it over with, but my parents can't have that satisfaction and he wouldn't understand it at this point. News like this to someone his age can ruin him. And I love him, I don't want him broken.

"Mommy, where are we going" he asks siting in the car seat in the back looking out the window.

"I don't know, where do you want to go" I ask trying to hide my tears.

"Can we go home" he asks.

"No baby, we can't right now. We're gonna take a mother-son trip" I say and he lights up. At least he still wants to hang out with me.

"How about we go to the mall of America? They have a theme park and a aquarium and we can see what cool hockey things they have there" I suggest and he claps.

"Yay! I want to go" he cheers. After a long six hours of driving and me just silently crying to myself we finally arrive. He goes straight to the theme park and plays around and I call Jon over and over but he doesn't pick up. I call again and nothing. After a few more calls I give up and leave him a voice mail.

"Hey Jon, it's me. I um... wow this is hard. I have Jackson and we're both fine. We're up in Minnesota right now and I'm not sure when we're coming home. It won't be long because I have absolutely nothing with me. I'm sure you're pissed I just ran away like this but trust me, I had to. I can explain it to you but I'd rather not do that over the phone. Just... um... I love you. So much. I'm sorry for everything. Bye."

After I hang up that's when the heavy waterworks start. I couldn't stop myself, it just flooded out of me and I don't know what to do. I gather myself up and grab Jackson so we could get some dinner. We get McDonalds and I find us a hotel room for a few nights. After getting settled in I give give him a bath and change him into some cloths I had in the car.

"Why couldn't Daddy come" he asks and I stop to look at him.

"It wouldn't be a mother-son trip with him right" I ask.

"Yeah, but I still like when he's around" he admits.

"Me too baby, me too" I say pulling him into bed with me. We lay there and watch tv and sit completely still.

"Why are you crying" he asks. I touch my face and notice it was wet. I didn't even know I was crying.

"I have to get rid of the sadness to make room for the happiness, remember" I ask with a sniffle.

"Yeah. I just don't like seeing you cry" he says.

"Then go to sleep" I reply caressing his cheek.

"Can you sing broken road" he asks.

"Of course" I smile. I hum softly as his eyes flutter closed. I don't know what I was doing. What am I doing? I can't run from my problems forever, but I can't face them either. I was scared to tell him because I didn't want him to think of me differently. I don't want him to know I was so low, so weak. And it was because of our parents. I didn't want him to know that he almost died. He just got over his fear of grown men, why bring that up again? I didn't want him to feel unwanted or unloved. And I don't want him to think that I love him any differently because he's not mine. Because as far as I'm concerned, he is.