God Bless The Broken Road (Jonathan Toews)

Mistakes

Maisie

I wake up to the sounds of beeping and buzzing accompanied by the worst headache ever. The crazy thing is I don't even remember going to sleep. I open my eyes before quickly shutting them, that was painful. Wait... why was that painful? I slowly open them back up and my heart drops. I look around and knew I wasn't at home. I was in a hospital bed hooked up to a IV. I let out a long breath and try to figure out how I got here. Last thing I remember was being at the New Years party and... oh. Right. As things start to come back I start feeling sick again, and not a throw up sick. A "I just screwed up again" sick and I hated it. The best way to fix a problem is to prevent it, that's why up until last night I never taken a drink. Obviously I should have stuck to that plan. I look over to see Jon passed out in a chair in his cloths from last night. I try to run my fingers through my hair but it was all matted up by now. I finally close my eyes again and think. Think about what I've done and what I have to do to fix this. I vowed I would never drink, at least not like that. After watching what happened to my dad all those years you would think I would have learned better, but I guess not. I sit there for a while sorting out what had happened and what was going to happen. I hear movement and look up to see Jon now in the sitting position in the chair. His eyes meet mine and my stomach turns into knots. My chest gets tight and I was terrified of what he thinks about me now. I can't believe I did this to him.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper and he shakes his head.

"No, don't you dare apologize" he says coming closer before wrapping his fingers around mine. I feel a tear slip then quickly wipe it away.

"Listen to me. I'm not mad at you, I never could be. You scared me half to death, but I promise I'm not mad. You have to know that" he says and I nod.

"I just... I don't know" I admit. I felt so flustered.

"Why'd you do it" he asks and I focus in on the floor.

"There's no reason. Emma kept giving me drinks and I kept taking them. I didn't have to drink them but I did. I wasn't paying attention to how much I was drinking, just wanted a good time. See whey people drank in the first place. I guess this means I'm more like my father than I originally thought" I sigh.

"Hey now, I don't want to hear you talk about yourself like that. He drank because he felt like he had to. That's how he wanted to solve his problems. He thought alcohol would somehow take all the pain away but it never did. He hurt people, he hurt you. You are nothing like him" he assures me.

"How do you know that? Look at me, I nearly drank myself to death. I'm in a hospital and my babies are at home without their mother because of my mistakes" I say starting to cry.

"People make mistakes Mae. You're human. I'm human and I make mistakes too. Things like this are going to happen. All that matters is that when it happens we're right next to each other. Here to help out and move on. But I'm not going anywhere without you" he says squeezing my hand. I look up into his eyes and decide to stop being so shitty, it's not helping anyone.

The doctor comes in and checks my vitals. They make sure I'm hydrated and my blood alcohol level is down before releasing me and we go to Nicole's to pick the kids up. We get home and I feed Everly before putting her down for a nap. I can't believe she's almost eight months old now, that's crazy. I sit in the chair next to her crib and watch her intently. Jonathan was right, we all make my mistakes. But I want my mistakes to be mine, not hers or Jon or Jacksons. And mistakes likely hag that are preventable should be prevented, and that's a burden I'll have to carry with me. But I refuse to run, because that's not fair to them either. Instead I'll just have to accept that I'm not going to be able to do the right thing all the time. But I have a family who loves me and sees me for me. Mistakes and all.

Everly starts fussing in her crib and I pick her up carefully. I sit back into the chair and set her on my lap so she's facing me on my knee. I bounce her and she giggles with her little fingers in her mouth. Someone is feeling better. She babbles to me and I talk nonsense back to her. We did this a lot and I probably enjoyed it as much as she did.

"You sound ridiculous" Jonathan jokes over the baby monitor. That thing is going to be the death of me.

"Shut up" I laugh and he laughs back.

"What are you guys doing" he asks.

"She's currently eating her fingers so I guess we don't have to feed her later" I joke.

"That's unfortunate" he comments.

"What about you guys, what are you and Jackson doing" I ask.

"Jackson is taking shots at the goalie he made out of pillows.

"Oh yes, because I love rolling over to the smell of hockey pucks in the morning" I giggle.

"Oh come on you do love it" he insists.

"For sure. It's the only reason I wake up" I smile. Everly starts babbling again and I squeeze her side.

"Can you say da-da" I ask.

"Da-da" she's babbles and I stop to look at her. I've tried to get her to say that for the longest time and she actually did it.

"Baby did you hear that" I ask but his line is silent. A few seconds later Jon appears in the doorway with the biggest smile on his face.

"Make her do it again" he insists. I talk to her and she says it again and Jon squeals. Squeals just like a little girl at a Justin Bieber concert. I start laughing and he sends me a glare. He picks her up and blows on her bare tummy causing her to laugh. He kisses her cheek before resting her on his side. I grab the camera I keep in the nursery and snap a pic of them looking at each other.

"That's a keeper" I smile. He pulls me out of the seat and gives me a kiss.

"This is great... but I feel like I'm missing something" he says scratching his imaginary beard. The sound of little feed pounding the floor sounds and Jackson appears. I pick him up and we were one big happy family once again.