God Bless The Broken Road (Jonathan Toews)

Big Baby

Jonathan

I wake up really early and make my usual pot of morning coffee and fix two cups like I do every time. Two sugars in hers and nothing in mine. I sit at the island and look across it where Maisie usually is. It's like she's still there smelling her coffee before taking the first big drink. I still remember how she would read her book with her glasses at the end of her nose. She always pushed them back up with her middle finger then adjusted her hair. Simply beautiful, really.

I let out a deep sigh and rest my forehead on the counter. I wish this didn't hurt so bad. I wish it didn't get this bad. I just never realized how unconnected I was. But I was pretty far out and couldn't see all the people who love me most trying to pull me back in.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of the front door unlocking then opening. In walks the love of my life and I breathe a sigh of relief. I know she might not be that happy to see me but I was more than happy to see her. She gives me a small smile and I shoot off the seat I was occupying and wrap my arms around her. She doesn't hold back as she wraps her arms around me too. I squeeze her tight as she laughs in my arms. Such a beautiful sound. I know things were different, but the moment the smell of her filled my senses I was finally home again.

"Jon I can't breathe" she giggles and I loosen my grip.

"Sorry" I whisper and she looks up at me with those sharp eyes. I caress her face because I missed the touch of her skin. I missed telling her how beautiful she was and how much I appreciate her. I missed it all.

"I am really sorry, for everything. For ignoring you and taking my anger out of you. For missing important parts of the kids' life and pushing you away. For breaking my promises and doing the one thing I said I would never do and that's hurt you. You're not someone I can just throw around, I know better than that. After hanging out with they kids all day yesterday I see how much my behavior has affected them. That their life isn't going to stop because I feel like mine did. It broke my heart seeing Jackson make one of his drawings and I wasn't in there because I wasn't there for him. Even Patrick was on my ass. I never meant to hurt you, I just didn't want to be happy without hockey, but I can be. You make me happier than everything hockey has ever given me. It's been four years and not a lot in my life worth remembering you weren't there for. You've done more than enough to earn respect, and I'm a idiot for not giving it to you" I explain.

"It's fine..."

"It's not fine Mae. It's really not. You didn't do anything wrong and I said some really shitty things. I shouldn't joke about that stuff and I'm really sorry" I repeat.

"I forgive you Jonathan. I don't want to be upset with you. I should be more understanding of the situation..."

"Stop. Just please stop. I'm not letting you take blame for this because you don't want something bad to happen. You're not the reason for all the problems in your life. I know you feel like that is true and I'm a shitty person for letting you think that way. You're amazing Maisie, please don't forget that" I say softly before cupping her face. I wipe away a tear but she lightly nods her head. I grab her hand and bring her into our room. It was dim and covered in her favorite scented candles that lit up the place. There was a bouquet of flowers on the bed and a card on her pillow. I even made a basket of her favorite things. Some pictures from the past four years and sour patch kids, twizzlers, Twix, and other candies. I couldn't sleep last night, not unless she was in bed with me, so I decided to set this up and hope she came back before the candles blew out.

"Jonathan, this is beautiful" she says picking up the card then reading it. It said "the best thing to hold onto in life is each other. Happy anniversary". She look around at everything before smiling big and wrapping her arms around me. It was at that point I knew we were going to be okay. I kiss the side of her head and wrap my arms around her too. I was finally at home in her arms. I love her so much and I hadn't told her in a while, now I finally can.

"I love you so much baby" I whisper.

"I love you too. And I have some good news" she says motioning to the bed as we sit down. She rests her head on my shoulder as we just embrace each other for the first time in forever. She laces her fingers through mine as I play with the ring on her finger just to remind her I was hers.

"I'm pregnant" she says and I quickly turn to her. Her smile grows as wide as I've ever seen it and mine does too.

"Really" I squeal and she nods.

"I found out last week and didn't tell you because I was scared you would be upset. But after seeing all of this I figured... I don't know, maybe you'll be excited" she shrugs.

"Baby, I'm more than excited. I don't even care that I don't have hockey because I have another kid I can put my love and time into. When is the baby due" I wonder.

"February, so when you when the cup this season we can put the baby in there" she smiles.

"You think there's going to be a season this year" I ask.

"Yeah, probably not any time soon but they won't let there be no hockey this season. Bettman can't take that much" she says causing me to laugh.

"Well he's doing a pretty good job of getting what he wants right now" I chuckle.

"Yeah. But every good story has the good guy defeating the bad guy then coming home to his family who is so proud of him" she claims resting her head on my shoulder again.

"Did you sleep last night" I wonder. It was only about 6 am.

"Not a wink" she replies.

"Me neither. But that's your fault" I smirk and she giggles. I move the bouquet of flowers and set her down before tucking her under the blackness then crawling in to join her.

"How long before one of the kids get us up" she asks.

"I don't know. A hour... maybe" I reply and she laughs.

"I love you Jon" she whispers and I place a kiss on her lips.

"I love you too Mae."