DESTINED TO BE HIS GARMENT

chapter 12

Adam was beyond puzzled at Najwa's words. It felt as if air has been forcefully ceased from entering his lungs. He was so disappointed. Very much disappointed that he was the only one who knew how it felt. He so wasn't expecting that and so it shook him to the core. It hurt a lot. His heart was pumping faster but his anger level seem to still remain at zero. But same couldn't be said about his disappointment level. He was indeed disappointed. He felt empty the moment Najwa said those words to him, or more appropriately when she made such request. He couldn't decipher what was going through his wife's head that made her make such request. It was really abnormal for newlyweds. But maybe in their case, it wasn't. It could be passed for normal in their case. Because they had been brought together obviously under one of the most abnormal of circumstances. He tried to understand her. But he couldn't. He's been rejected by his wife on their first night. Great. Another rejection. But why did this one sting so badly.

Yes, Najwa had rejected him it would seem. She was the only one who knew what was happening to her, specifically her heart and her nerves.

They had gone to their former hostel to retrieve the things they had left behind. That is, Najwa, Samira and Adam. Returning home, only Adam and his sister had been in deep conversation. Najwa on the other hand was in deep thought. How was she going to pass through that night without any drama. And most importantly without having to sleep with her husband in the same room. She was never going to accommodate a man who loved another woman so dearly and risk a rejection. No. There should be some thing she can do to prevent that. She just had to be strong though. And fight for what she believes. At least she won't be hurting anyone that way. But if she doesn't, she was definitely going to be the one to get hurt. And that is why she had told her husband in the most softest voice she could manage, with eyes lowered to the tiled floor in the living room of their two bedroom apartment after he had shown her around.

"Can I ask a favour please. And I would be very happy if you could grant it, for the sake of Allaah."Najwa asked with her gaze lowered. Adam felt a deep pierce in his heart when he heard her soft voice. It was almost painful but full of excitement. She had avoided his name. But that didn't matter. What matters is that she had at least talked to him. She hadn't said a word since she decided to forgive his sister, not even when he was showing her around the apartment. And so he felt warm within himself as a result. He just looked at her and became lost in her for sometime without answering. He couldn't seem to blink. Finally, he shook himself out of his oblivion and decided to grant her request. He would do anything to please her. At least if not for anything, for Allaah's sake like she said. And to show some gratitude to her for marrying him in her sister's stead. But a little voice in his head told him that wasn't it. It was something else. That he couldn't admit.

"Yes, go ahead please." He replied, his mood changed to that of enthusiasm.

"I want to stay in the guest room. Please grant me permission to do so". She pleaded in a sad voice. And that immediately caused the disappointment. He felt the resistance in her voice. And for a moment, he thought to say no. Did she loathe him that much? Or she just couldn't stand him. He didnt understand.
'Maybe she is trying to adjust to the fact that you got married so abnormally. Just give her sometime to get used to it. She wasn't prepared for you.' That little voice in his head said.
Right. He was officially going to spend the night alone because Najwa wasn't prepared to sleep with him in their bedroom. For how long? He didn't know. He thought they both wanted the marriage to work and so living together in the same room would have been a good foundation for that.

"Ok. You can" he replied disappointment lacing his voice. But there was nothing he could do. Besides, he had promised her father he would keep her happy. And so if that's what makes her happy and comfortable, he would give it to her despite what he felt about it. It wasnt going to be easy but he has to bottle up his feelings. He would never object. Lest she finds that reason enough to leave him. The thought of her leaving him shot spines through his heart.