Friends with Benefits

chapter 19-am sorry it didn't work out

(Hayley's p.o.v)

"After jake left,I now have to attend to something,I now realised I Still left Desmond hanging from that night till now,I feel so bad for him..Now that I was sure I like Jake,and we are dating,how do I tell him????,what would he think of me???,am scared to tell him but I have to..

I have already texted him and told him to meet me at my dorm room at 6pm tonight..it's 5 already.I quickly took my bath,and wore my nighty because I  sure wasn't going anywhere again.

"And he's here as I heard a knock at the door,my heart started racing ,a million things could happen tonight,he could stop talking to me,he could Still say he will wait for me which is sweet but I don't want him to keep waiting on me because I am with Jake now,he could say he dosent want to be friends with me and I would totally understand,I mean toing with someone's feelings like that wasn't really nice,I mean who kisses a guy and go ahead and date someone else,me hayley..

Ughhh I hate myself now.

The knocking became louder,with him calling my name too .,I broke out of my thoughts and walked to the door as I prepared for the worst.

"Hey hayley"

Ughh,i wish he didn't have to be so nice,this will be so hard if he dosen't want to be friends again,but I will understand.

"Hey ,come in I said bluntly.

"Well am here,what's up?."

"Well Uhmm,I am just going to go straight to the point."

"Wait why do I get the feeling this wouldn't be good he said smiling ."

I wish it didn't have to be
I managed to bring out a smile bit the smile was short lived.

"Desmond,I know we have been friends for some time,and I really like you,and your personality and how you are,you are just so nice and cool and it hurts me that I can't reciprocate the love you have for me toward you."

"Wait wait hayley,Waow breath,just calm down he said ."

I hadn't realized I was lamenting and holding my breath,I let out a sigh.

" Desmond,Jake asked me out and I said yes,he told me he loves me and I love him too and I just feel so bad because well you love me too and unfortunately I cannot receprocate that love and it makes me sad,I know you want our friendship to end that's allright,I understand your judgement,it's not everyday you kiss a girl you love and she dates someone else."

"He kept quite,real quite and was staring at me,I didn't like the silence,it was consuming.

"Desmond?"

He finally let out a tired breath,hayley he said,Pain evident in his voice.

"Y yes I manage to say."

"It's ok,I understand,sometimes the heart wants what it wants,we can't always choose who we want,In the case of me,I didn't get you but you too got each other and it's cool,and I dunno who gave you that illusion that I will end our friendship just because of this,I won't,it's okay,I totally understand,I will always love you tho bit I just hope soon I will find someone I love and will love me back this time around he said smiling briefly."

"Wow Desmond,I dunno what to say,I swear you mean so much to me,I appreciate,thank you Desmond,I dunno what to say really."

"It's ok,so what's new ,tell me about you and jake and how he asked you out he said looking into my eyes."

I wasn't sure telling him about how Jake asked me out and how I love him was a good idea.

"Your sure?."

"Yeah,go on,don't worry about me ."

So for the next hour I told him about the fight at the cafeteria,the home confession and the cuddling today and how he asked me out,everything,I mean everything I didn't live Any details,somehow talking to him makes me happy and much more relaxed about the whole twist ,almost like my second best friend if I say so myself,he thrue in comments here and there ,we talked about his life so far,and soon the conversation ended,we hugged and just when I was about to close the door he stooped the door with his leg and I looked up at his tall frame.

"You know if you need anything or someone am here right??."

I can't believe him,he's in pain and yet somehow he manages to turn the tables around like as if I was the one in pain.

"Yeah Desmond,thank you,am grateful for a..

I stopped,I wasn't sure what I should say since we kissed and he has feelings for me,it is just really awkward.

"Friends he completes it for me."

"Yeah for being a good friend I said smiling,he smiled and left."

Now I was happy,relieve washed over me knowing we still had our friendship and I had told him everything,some friends are worth keeping.
..I went to bed with a smile on my face,today did turn out to be a good day after all.

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