Scars That Heal (Dramione Fanfiction) [COMPLETE]

28 - Fresh Air

For Hermione, that first day in the Hospital was bliss. She didn't feel the fear and depression that had provoked her attempt in the first place at all - until the second day afterwards. She just woke up with a feeling like a boulder on her chest, and recognised it immediately for what it was. It was like standing under a cold shower, feeling the damp seeping through her. Madam Pomfrey noticed she was off as she saw her, and sent for Draco.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" he asked, looking at her intently.

"I feel awful again." she said, a dull tone in her voice. "I just... Too much sadness and too many worries. I'll be fine, go to your lesson, Draco." Hermione made to turn over and go back to sleep but Draco reached over and turned her back to face him.

"No, you're not going to do this. You aren't going to feel bad again. I almost lost you, I'm not letting it happen again. Come on, talk to me."

"Draco, I... I don't know how to stop feeling like this. I just do, and I need to get over it soon because I'm going to miss so many lessons being in here, and I need to get back to work --"

"Stop. I'm stopping you there because you can't just pretend you don't feel bad. That's only going to make it worse. OK, we're going to talk about this right now. I'll tell Pomfrey I need another day off, and I'm staying here until we can figure something out for you." Draco promptly stood up and went to speak to the nurse. Hermione lay there, feeling guilty as well as depressed.

"Draco, don't do this. You need to stay in class, you need to do the work, or you won't get your NEWTs --"

"Screw my NEWTs. I want to see you happy, or at least happier. I know it will take time, but I'm willing to wait." Draco said, determination shining into his voice. He sat back down at the end of Hermione's bed, and waited.

Hermione felt annoyed. She couldn't help feeling like this, God knows how hard she'd tried not to, and it wasn't going to go away. She had to find something to take her mind off it, and that was work.

"I don't need your help, Draco. As much as I appreciate it, I just need to get back into lessons and I'll be fine again, I promise."

"No you won't, though. This is exactly what happened before; you got depressed, then you tried to ignore your feelings because it was easier than having to face them. Come on, I've got all day."

Hermione sighed, feeling her heart sink a little further. She was going to have to say something. Hermione shifted her pillows so she was sitting upright and her eyes were level with Draco's.

"I feel really sad. All the time, apart from yesterday. I don't really know why... I just -- Well, I do. It was my dad getting ill, and then him dying. I feel like I should have saved him. I was the one who erased his memory in the first place, and --"

"Wait, you erased your father's memories?" Draco looked stunned.

"Y-Yes." Hermione saw his horrified expression. "I had to, Draco, it was during the war! You-Know-Who would've found them otherwise and tortured them, and then killed them. I couldn't be responsible for that. So I erased my parents' memories of me, and replaced them with different ones. They had different names, and they moved to Australia so I was convinced they'd be safe. Only... I didn't realise I'd given them a much worse fate because of that decision."

"...Go on."

"Even after I found them and restored their memories as best as I could during the summer, they still weren't how they had been before. They kept forgetting things, and often my dad in particular would have these moments where he'd freeze or jerk slightly, like when a film glitches. I hadn't realised then, but there was something very wrong with him. I tried to get my parents back to how they were before, but then I came back to school and left them, and..." Hermione felt herself tearing up, and blinked rapidly to try to stop herself.