Scars That Heal (Dramione Fanfiction) [COMPLETE]

38 - Doodled-On Parchment

There was something between Draco and Hermione after that night. Hermione wasn't entirely sure what it was, but it felt like a point of no return. Her advances had been pushed away. He didn't want her in that way. Not yet, at least. She completely understood Draco's reasons, and she was happy he had stopped her before they went too far, but Hermione still felt bad.

Did he not like her that much after all? Had he been put off by her? Was she just not as attractive when she wasn't wearing a shirt? Hermione didn't know, but it felt like she wasn't enough anymore. She knew it was nonsense, and that he loved her very much, but all the same she felt unworthy. Draco just wanted more time, so he could be certain he was making the right choice. That was all. So why was she overthinking this when the answers were so obvious?

They were a little more separated after that, a little more distant. Nobody noticed it, of course, but Hermione could feel there was a hesitance whenever she touched him, and Draco was more careful to ask each time he wanted a kiss. Both of them were now far too aware of each and every action. It was like treading on eggshells.

Hermione felt hurt, for no good reason, and she needed to talk to Draco about it. At the end of their lessons a few days later, she caught his arm as he went to go to the library.

"Draco?" she asked hesitantly.

"Oh, hello Hermione," he smiled. "Did you want something?"

"Y-Yes. I want to talk."

"Oh, um, OK?" Draco sounded worried. "D-Do you want to go somewhere?"

"I think that would be good," Hermione said. "How about the Tower?"

"Sure."  Draco said. They walked to the Tower in awkward silence, the kind where you can feel the distance between swinging hands and every breath seems deliberate. Hermione glanced at Draco out of the corner of her eye a few times as they walked, careful to not look like she was staring. He seemed afraid. He had a slight blush across the top of his cheeks, and he was running his fingers over his dark mark like he always did when nervous.

They arrived, and Draco helped Hermione up the ladder. He tumbled in after her, closing the trapdoor behind him and swinging his legs onto the floorboards. Hermione pulled out two cushions from the pile and they sat down opposite each other on the floor. It had been a very long time since they had been up here together. Dust had started to settle over the furniture again, and there was a slightly uneasy air to the room now.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Draco asked, tension in his voice. His eyes barely met hers.

"I wanted to talk to you about... about the other night. Because we haven't been OK, have we? We've been uncomfortable, and it's not right. So I want to be completely honest with you." Hermione took a slightly shaky breath in. "I love you. I love you a lot, and the fact you weren't ready doesn't change that at all. In fact, I'm pleased that you could tell me we were going too far because I would hate for our first time to end up being something we'd regret. It doesn't change anything, except that now I know not to try and push you into something like that. You let me know when you're ready, because I'll be here when you are."

Draco looked up abruptly at Hermione's words. She could see he was surprised, and in a good way.

"I thought you were going to break up with me," he said with a quivering laugh. "I thought you were going to tell me that was it."

"Not now, and hopefully not ever." Hermione smiled.

"Can I be honest with you?" Draco asked. Hermione nodded. "I feel like you aren't OK. I think that you think I don't love you enough for... that, and that's why I stopped you."