Insanity x2 (A Trevor Philips Story)

30: Crash

The guys collectively decided to make me stay home. I spent the whole morning and afternoon in Los Santos, helping warehouses count product and send shipments out to the highway, to Trevor's airfield in Sandy Shores and all throughout Los Santos.

It was four o'clock in the afternoon by the time I was finished working. I started my drive back home to Sandy Shores in my red Banshee. I didn't want Trevor to know I was out and about, he'd get all upset.

My phone started to ring. I let out a sigh as I gazed at my phone. Trevor.

"Hello?" I asked, putting him on speaker through the aux cord.

"Babe, what the hell. Where did you go? You were supposed to stay home."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not some wounded puppy. Lay off," I snapped.

"Hey hey hey don't give me that fucking attitude, I'm concerned about your well-being."

I pressed my foot on the gas harder, I started weaving through cars left and right. "Well, Trev, I know my limits. I can handle myself. I did it before I met you, I can still do it now."

"Where are you now?"

I was about to answer until my head started to spin, the sunlight was so bright it lit up the the white Cavalcade in front of me. I squinted my eyes and started to ease on my breaks. I couldn't hear Trevor anymore, his words became a murmur as my mind went into panic mode. I was losing consciousness.

A car pulled in front of me, but I wasn't fast enough in turning the wheel. I clipped them, sending them flying to the right lane. My front bumper had gotten caught, sending me toppling, flipping over on the freeway, leaving me at the mercy of the cars behind me who did their best to stop, but their cars headed straight into my Banshee. I blacked out.

--

I woke up in a hospital bed. Man, I'd done this so often that the hospital felt like a second home almost. A crappy, bright white room that smelled like sterilization and old people.

I turned to my left to see Trevor sitting beside me, his mouth pursed and his eyes angry. "What. . . The hell, Lucy."

I groaned. "I just came back into consciousness, and you're already hammering me?"

"You're fucking damn right I am!" he shouted. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you space out at the wheel? That's the second time that's happened to you. You really need to see that doctor about your head. Stop putting that shit off!"

"Stop-"

"I mean, God dammit Lucy! You should see your car! It's totaled. There's no way you're getting it back. How fucked up did you have to be to crash the car you treat like your child?"

"I-"

"You're lucky you only have scrapes and bruises! Yeah, there's a ton of them and you look like a fuckin' rag doll, but the fact you didn't break your bones or die when cars slammed into your flying car dead on, man . . . The guy you clipped died instantly, how the fuck are you alive?"

"Trev-"

"If you just fucking-"

"Trevor!" I shouted, tears spilling from my eyes now. My chest felt tight, I couldn't breathe. He stopped in his tracks, his anger slipping off of him as his eyes met mine. I slumped in the hospital bed, pressing my head into the pillow. I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut.

I felt his hand hold mine, his fingers entwined in mine. I heard the scrape of the chair on the floor as he sat himself closer to the bed. "I'm sorry, Lucy. I just. . . God." I opened my eyes to find him running his free hand through his patchy hair. "You know I hate being lied to. You told me you were fine. But you're not. You need to see a Neurologist."

"Trevor, last time I was here, I did. That's why I was in that office."

He tightened his grip momentarily. "You told me they asked you about the 'drive-by'."

"I lied."

He pursed his lips.

"Why?"

"Because you don't want to hear the truth. . . " I spoke. I could feel the tears start sliding down my cheeks again.

"You have to be fucking honest with me, Lucy, or I'm going to get really fucking mad," he spoke slowly. "I can't control my anger towards people who lie. I'm not going to hurt you, I just. . . Just. . .Come on, lying to me is going to make me want to start arguments with you, and I don't want to do that. What's going on that's so bad that you couldn't tell me?"

"I have a brain tumor."

There.

It was out.

Trevor's eyes stared into mine as if he was expecting me to burst out in a fit of giggles, as if he was expecting me to say, "Haha, just kidding!", but when he realized I wasn't going to say anything after a moment of painful silence, he swallowed hard. "How bad is it?"

"I have a sixty-forty percent chance of surviving. I'm having surgery in two weeks. They're going to try to remove it, but chances are they won't be able to take all of it out. I'm most likely going to need to go through Chemotherapy. Babe, I'm scared shitless, and-" my throat closed up. I looked at my hands.

He stood up from his seat and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my head into his chest. "You should just leave me now," I spoke, clinging onto his shirt. "Save yourself the pain."

"Hey, there's no way I'm letting you fuckin' die, you hear me?"

"I can't control whether I live or die. . . " I sniffled. "You can't blame yourself if I do die."

He ran his hand through my hair, kissing my forehead. "I'm going to pay for all your treatments, drive you to all of your appointments. . . All of the money I get from The Big One will be for you to get the best treatment possible, because I-"

I stopped listening now. His loyalty was what made me feel a sharp pain in my chest. Trevor was the most loyal human being on the planet, so loyal he was ready to dedicate every waking moment to keeping me alive. I felt guilty for putting me through this. He was crushed when he thought Michael died, I could only imagine what would happen to him if I died. He didn't deserve to go through that. He would be so drained and depressed by the end, he wouldn't be the same, I'd drag him down.

I never cared whether I lived or died before. I welcomed death. I lived life on the edge. But right here, right now, as my reason to live warmed me up with his body, I felt the will to live strengthen in my soul, consuming me in an instant. I had to live. I just had to survive this.

I just closed my eyes tight, breathed in his musk, and tried to remember this feeling of being safe in his arms as he tried to tell me everything would be alright, and for his sake, I hoped he was right.