"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK !!!!!....this can't be happening" I said to myself. I kept my widen gaze on the picture in front of me and I felt like the world was squeezing the air out of me. "I can't breath, I can't breath, I can't breath, I can't breath" I said repeatedly as I started to gasp for air. 'What's happening to me? Why am I acting like this?' I thought to myself. Suddenly I started to shake and I felt the walls where closing in on me and I decided I needed to get out of my room and get outside before I was crushed by my house. As I was trying to get up I end up falling off my bed and dropped my phone in the process. I laid there on the floor not being able move nor breath. I reached for my phone and wanted to call for help but was unable to get up. Suddenly the doors burst open and there ran in Gray, Juliana, Madison and Sam. Gray turns his head to me a quickly picks me up and rushes me outside, I was now shaking, crying, gasping for air, and stuttering every word that tried to come out of my mouth. Gray stands me up and tells me to put my hands up on my head, I follow his instructions and was told to take really deep breaths and slowly let them out, again I follow his instructions. After for what seemed like hours I finely calmed down and could breath again. I didn't even notice everyone was outside and was trying to help me relax.
"What happened y/n? Why did you start having a panic or anxiety attack?" Gray asked
Still unable to speak I stared at the Ground unable to move and I was still shaking a bit. Suddenly I hear Juliana speak from behind me.
"She saw it" Juliana said with a bit of guilt in her voice.
Gray turns to me and asked what I saw. Juliana hands me my phone and I show him what I saw that I started to freak out over.
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His eyes widen and he embraces me into a tight hug "I'm so sorry y/n...I was hoping we could have told you instead of you finding out like this." Gray whispered into my ear. I finely lose it and start to cry my eyes out into Gray's chest, he Higgs me tighter and try's to shush me but I couldn't help but cry. It's was a nightmare turned reality and I wanted it to end but it wasn't going to because we aren't in the movies where the guy goes after the girl he really cares for and confesses his love for her, no we are in the world where once your heart is broken you have to live with the pain till one day you just get use to it. The pain I was feeling hurt mentally and physically and I guess Gray had a sense for that because he hugged me tighter and whispered in my ear "bad things happen to really amazing people, but the bad thing are how those really amazing people come out to be something even more amazing." I hugged him tighter and soon it started to rain. Everyone looked up at the sky and didn't even bother to run and hide from the rain, to me it felt like all the pain that everyone was keeping in just let go and that we where no longer crying alone for the sky was crying to. I turn to say something to Juliana but noticed she was crying to and So was Madison, even Sam. I looked up to see Gray but he was hiding his face from me.
"Gray?" I whispered
"I'm not crying" he said with in a whisper. I slightly giggle and respond.
"It's okay if you are...some of the bravest people I know cry, wether there standing alone behind closed doors, or in front of someone...there still the bravest people I know." Gray looks at me with a half smile and nods his head. Though he wasn't crying any tears he was crying. At that moment and at that second I felt all the pain was being washed away and the world was finally able to breath again. The rain was not a symbol of sadness but a symbol of strength and I couldn't be happier to cry with such an amazing group of friends. The rain started pouring harder and we decided it was best to head home. Madison and Sam gave me a hug goodbye and left to head home. Juliana left after them since she came in her own car and Gray was the last one to leave. He's the big brother I always wanted and he knew I was thankful to have him as my big brother. Gray finally leaves and I head up to my bathroom to take a shower, I stood in the shower just letting the water run down my back and thought about things and how things must change for the better. The rain continued on outside and it was now dark but it didn't bother me for when the night cries the moon is there to comfort it and I have to no longer cry alone. As I finely finished up my shower I quickly get dressed and head to my room where I decided to play piano music (the music up there...please don't judge I love classical music especially when the piano, violin and the cello play together. Anyways back to the story) the music plays with the rain and it becomes a beautiful melody that I can't help but enjoy. I lay myself on my let my heart dance with the music and I felt like all the words I could never say out loud where being told. The memories of my parents divorce and all the pain that came with it just seemed to have drifted. And the memories of me and Chandler and all the tears I have cried and all the screams I've let out just seemed to wash away. I felt like I could finally smile again. "The thing with music is, when it hits you, you feel no pain" I whispered to myself. I no longer felt alone and I felt all my problems have just been lifted. I begin to slowly drift off into a peaceful sleep but was interrupted by my phone buzzing, I quickly pick it up and unlocked it seeing who it was I read the text.
Gray: hey it's me...your big brother..I just wanted to say thanks for what you said out in the rain. I know I may seem like a dućhe but I know that you are a strong person to and I don't want you worry over a guy like Chandler. I hope that when we go back to school in a few weeks or so because of spring break and parent teacher conference, you have a smile on your face and show the world that you don't give a fuck about the things Chandler hurt you with, because I know the kind of person you are and I know how strong you are. Believe me when I tell you this.....no one is as brave and strong as you are in a world so cold. Goodnight lil sis, I will see you soon.
I smiled at the text and send him a quick text.
Me: thanks big bro..I needed that. I hope to see you soon and don't let the world bring you down for your heart is just as pure. Don't ever let the world hide you in the shadows for it's such a gruesome place to be. Goodnight big bro see you soon.
After I hit sent I turned to my side and looked out the big window I had in my room, the moon shined so bright and the rain continued to fall, the smell of rain and wet dirt filled my room, what a peaceful and joyous smell it was. I began to feel my eyelids getting heavier and let the peaceful and beautiful night consume me into a deep restful sleep.
A/n: I know the chapter isn't that long but it's like two in the morning and I'm supposed to be a sleep but I can't sleep. Anyways I will update soon and I don't know if you guys think so but I felt I put more of a deeper feeling in this story then all the other story's I written. I don't know you probably found it boring but I'm really proud on how deep the feeling were. I don't know I'm weird...anyways I will update soon, bye and thanks for reading.
