Paralyzed

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Alex's POV

What have I done? How could I be so stupid? I haven't moved from the place she left me standing at. Why didn't I run after her? I don't know why I didn't. I wanted to explain to her that I didn't cheat... I mean I did... but I didn't want it. It was Servando, he threatened to kill me slowly and painfully and then go for Tobin and make her pay for having me. I wish she would have opened the door to see the tears on my face or the true pain in my eyes. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if he hurt Tobin over me.

I feel drained, like the life has been sucked out of me. I can't go home and face my mother again. I have no where to go, but sit in our dorm where everything reminds me of her. Why did I let her leave? She is everything to me? I began to cry again, because that is all I felt I was able to do.

Tobin's POV

Checking my phone getting off the plane I have three missed calls and 8 messages from Alex. With out reading them I just cut my phone off and place it back in my pocket. I know my. Parents are excited and ready to see me, but I told them I was bring my future home with me. Now I am home with my future back at I am guess UNC. I didn't know I was zoned out till I felt Allie's hand on me and a concern look plastered on her face. 
"Hey Allie, do you mind telling my parents I'll be home for dinner? I just need some time." I ask her with pleading eyes. "Of course Tobs, I'll see you at the house." She said hugging me before getting into a separate cap.

I've been just walking around the old YMCA center for about an hour now just watching the kids play soccer. I used to come here and play when I was younger, it always was my escape. I can't help but think about Alex, the things she does to me. I hope she went home to be with her family. Leaving here there was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I was lost in thought when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked to find my father beside me.

"Tobin do you know how hard it was to get you to come home for dinner and away from this field every day?" He asked me not looking away from the field. "No sir" I respond curious to where he is going with this. "Very much so. You were very driven, and stubborn." He said chuckling. I had to laugh at the thought of me putting up a fight to come home. "You still have that same drive Tobin, and stubbornness also." He says laughing a little more. "Don't let you future be determined by someone else's actions. If you want something, there get it. You are the most well driven human being I know, and I know you've been done wrong. Something is telling me though Tobin, you need to fight just a little bit harder for this one." He said patting me on the back. I finally looked at him and felt a smile pull onto my face. "Thanks Dad" I said hugging him tight. He just hummed in response and walked with me over to his car. 

We got home a few minutes later and I was greeted by my mother and siblings instantly. My family said Allie had gone to visit with her family and would be back later. I began to talk about college life and soccer with my family. I couldn't be happier to be home and in their presence. I decided I would be leaving after Christmas early to take care of some things back at the school. They agreed, somehow they seemed to know I was chasing something. I don't know what brought my dad out to find me and say that, but I am glad he did. I know what I have to do before New Years  1)enjoy this little time right now with my family 2)get my girl back before it's to late 3)make her mine again because I can't go on with out her.

Alex's POV

I can't help these feelings inside me. What is the point anymore? I don't want to give myself back to Serv. No I can't, I can't do it. She will come back for me right? God please let her love me again. I've tried to drink away my pain, drowning myself in the pit of the devils wishes. Every sip of alcohol only burning it away for a minute, just for it to come back stronger. Maybe Serv is right. I am nothing to her, or anyone for that matter. She was way out of my league. How could she love someone like me? She can't love me. He is right, I am made for his pleasure only. That's all I am good for, right?  Why must I mess up every good thing in my life? I am laying here laying in a sorry pool of depression. Then my fear appears again when I hear the door burst open again. "Alex baby what have I told you about drinking with out me?" I hear Servando's slurred tone enter the room. "Get up" he slurs as he kicks my side making me wince in slight pain. I barely make it to my feet before I am shoved to the floor again. I feel myself blacking out. I am paralyzed, where are my feelings? Where is the real me? I am lost and it kills me inside. My eyes are getting heavy. Please Tobin if you love me... I need you... only you. That is my last thought before my mind goes completely limp. Me just praying that if I do live through this that it is only to be placed into her embrace.

Writer- the words in bold and underlined are lyrics from the song that goes with this chapter. Hope you enjoy. It kind of sucks right now I know. Trust me though... IT GETS BETTER!! Thanks for reading. You guys are great🤙🔥❤

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