Saudade (Published under Indie Pop)

Chapter 16: The Crow's Nest

Chapter 16: The Crow's Nest

I watched him as he walked down the hallway and disappeared on the deck. I decided to move my feet after staring blankly at the entrance and stopped when I reached the front of my door. I didn't know if I could sleep right away after the confrontation I had with Owain and Threy. I was kidnapped by the pirates and instead of behaving like a well-behaved captive who deserved to be freed, I waged war against the two high-ranking men of the Obsidian. Ugh, words. My words could either build something for me or destroy everything. I was never called tactless in the East Land, but a sensible lady with arguments, yes. I guess this pirate world was not accustomed to dealing with women talking so freely of them.

Sighing deeply, I walked towards the entrance to the deck. Darkness welcomed me but it was a kind of darkness that offered magic. I looked up at the night sky which was painted with shining stars and the bright, full moon as I took my steps to the railings. I usually waited for nights like this when I was in the East Land. I would go to the highest window of the castle and would simply watch the night as it boasts its beauty. Or if I couldn't sneak out of my room in the middle of the night, I would just let my window open until morning and slept while the stars were watching me – and yes, endure the sickness I would get the next day for letting the coldness in the whole night. And this time, not even the pirate world could stop me from seeing this beauty.

And as if the pirate world answered me, I saw Alon climbing down from the ladder on a huge and high post in the middle of the deck. He didn't seem to notice me as he disappeared to the entrance of the hallway. I looked up from where he came from and I saw a high platform with a metal railing around it. It was so high that if you fall from climbing the ladder, you would land dead on the floor of the deck. I swallowed as I took in how high it was and how my curiosity wanted to test it. My mind was already wandering on the sight that that platform would give me.

I looked up at the moon as if I was asking for its thoughts and when the stars twinkled around it, I knew I had to do it. I walked carefully to the middle of the deck and touched the rope ladder that would bring me to the platform. The wind was not so harsh this time and I felt that it steady as I climbed up to the crow's nest. I pulled on it and hauled myself up. I was surprised to find it easy so I climbed and climbed without looking back down because if I would – the height would make its way to my heart and weaken my resolve. I just looked up on the stars that seemed to encourage me in continuing this stunt.

I was already in the middle of the climb when the wind started to pick up speed and blown my hair to cover my face. I instinctively brushed it away with my right hand which almost made me fall down. But I put it back right away and steadied myself. Damn it, Primrose! Stop being so vain at the moment!

My hands started burning as I continued pulling up my weight. It was the hardest ladder I have ever climbed. My father would probably be so proud of me once he learned how much I sweated for this. He would learn that his daughter was not a weakling after all. I pulled out all my courage and strength as I climbed on the last step. And after one last pull, I finally reached the platform and laid my back in there breathing heavily.

I closed my eyes and filled my lungs with the cold night air. At that moment, I felt so alone and at peace. I felt that I was too far away from anyone and that no one could hurt me from where I was. In the darkness, it seemed that it was just alright not to think or even worry about the things that might happen next. It seemed just fine not to care at all.