I'm scared of the sea. I can't help but think of the danger it brings. The width and depth seem forever. But I know that someday, I'm going to swallow all my fears and sail into that immense body of menace. Because I have to find him. I have to see...
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My feet brought me to the balcony of the castle; the place where I had my confrontation with the Skull. It was far more silent out there compared to the vivacity of the dining hall. This castle was full of hope as if it had finally gained its strength after sleeping peacefully for a long time. And as much as I wanted to share its liveliness and valor, it still felt like I don't belong in the Borgian Castle. Even my heart didn't feel like celebrating at all. All it wanted was to be left alone in its own misery for anything that touches it would only result into bringing more pain.
Pain. I never thought I would feel more hurt than I had ever had. The agony was so deep I had probably shed all of my tears inside me that nothing would fall from my eyes anymore. No tears, no whimpers of pain, no words. There was only silence around me as I watched the sparkling lights from the distant lands. I felt so small, almost nothing that I didn't want to feel anymore. Anyone could say that it was an act of defeat, a sign of weakness, a submission. And I would say, I was only being human.
The cold wind blew against my face and I closed my eyes wishing that it would carry away the emptiness I was feeling. It was ironic that there was a void inside of me and yet, there was this certain heaviness that was weighing me down. Maybe it was feeling everything and feeling nothing at the same time. It was how a heart would react after being suffocated for a long time. It would just collapse, locking itself in a coffin, and burying it down in a pile of different emotions it wanted to escape from.
I looked down at the wide castle grounds. I wasn't able to admire the view when I first came here but now that I had the balcony for myself, there was absolutely nothing that could stop me from marvelling its beauty. So, pulling my shoes off my feet, I decided to climb the banister and sat on it facing the East Land. The cold breeze kissed my skin, teasing me dangerously and as I looked down on the ground below me, I couldn't help but smile at its invitation. The moment was urging me to fly, convincing me that I would be free once I take the leap. And I would be lying if I wouldn't admit that there was a part of me that was calling to it. A promise of seeing my father and being the innocent young girl again was hanging in the air. And it was so enticing that it was difficult for me to resist, like a forbidden fruit daring for me to take a bite.
I didn't know what had gotten into me but as I stared down on the fine castle ground, I started to feel light; like the things that bothered me were lifted off my chest. My worries appeared to lessen and a peculiar smile was beginning to stretch on my face. I felt like I wasn't myself anymore; like I was being enchanted to not care at all.
But the serenity of the surrounding was ruined when I sensed someone watching me. I turned around and I saw the Skull, he was staring at my form cautiously, calculating the situation around us. He looked different this time, though. He was pale and nervous, and it wasn't really like him to be like that. There was absolutely nothing that could bring fear to someone like him. After all, he was a lord, the Skull, and a king.
