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I spring from the bed at an ungodly hour, digging all my makeup out of my suitcase in the corner of our hotel room.

"Yo," Jessica rolls over, "it's 3 in the morning."

"And?" I come back sarcastically.

"We went to bed at 11," she rubs her eyes and looks at me like I've grown 3 heads.

"I'm a mom," I smile at her, "4 hours with 3 toddlers is heavenly."

I continue pulling out hair styling wands, bobby pins, makeup, and jewelry from my bag.

"Ugghh," She gets up and walks to the light switch, "remind me to thank your dad again for watching Alexia."

You see, Jessica and her ex boyfriend had Alexia a year ago. 2 days after I gave birth to Axel. So after that, we've basically been the closest you can possibly be with someone.

"Where's your dress?" She looks hazily through the room.

"Closet," I say as I pull out my underwear and bra.

I pull out my phone and send our hairdresser and makeup artist a quick text just explaining that I'm awake and ready when they are.

"The wedding is at 9," Jessica states while carefully laying my dress down on the bed she was sleeping on that night.

"Hey," I look at her playfully, "judge me on my wedding day and I might have to kill you."

I can tell her laugh is fake. It's her 'something happened and I don't know how to bring it up' laugh. We all have one. Her's is just more readable than others.

"Did I have a nightmare again?" I ask quietly as I pull my heels from their box.

"Mhm," is the response I get.

I have a recurring nightmare. Almost every night. It's of that day. The worst day of my life. The day I witnessed the man who had a gun to my head. The day I had to see a side of future husband that I never wanted to see. The worst day of my life.

I shake my head, "therapist says they'll stop eventually." I smile sadly to her.

I hear a light knock on the door and see Lucas standing there, "can I come in?"

"No!" Jessica whisper yells to him.

"My dress is out," I smile and look into his bright green eyes.

"I just came to say that I love you," he smiles and kisses me.

I pull back quickly, "now shoo! And kiss my babies for me please!" I push him lightly into the hall.

"I like you being all forceful like that!" He winks over at me.

"We don't have time for y'all's kinky freaky shit, shoo shoo," Jessica butts in and helps push Lucas into the hall.

We all three share a laugh and I shut the door.

I turn slowly and look at Jessica with a huge smile.

"Okay, Pennywise, why are you smiling like that?" She looks at me concerned.

"I'm getting married. To him," I point towards the closed door, "in less than 7 hours!"

We go silent for a moment then whisper scream and jump all around.

----

"I feel like a bad bitch," I look at my smokey eyes and deep red lipstick in the mirror as our makeup artist finishes his amazing work.

"You look like a bad bitch," Jessica tells me as she's getting her hair worked on in the seat beside me.

I sit still as the other hairstylist hairsprays my little baby fly away hairs down.

After all is done I slowly unzip the beautiful dress and slowly slide into it, Jessica helps me zip the back.

"Hot mama!" She exclaims and the entire beauty team tear up as they smile at me. I smile back, my happiness radiating from my body.

"Are you ready to get married?" Jess jumps up and down as the clock clicks to 8:20.

"Hell yeah," I smile as I slide my heels on.

Lets go say 'I do'.

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